


For Hire

by dramady, jeck



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Adam Lambert - Fandom, American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-03
Updated: 2010-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-05 16:12:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dramady/pseuds/dramady, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeck/pseuds/jeck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't want you to go/ Don't wanna see you back out in the cold/ Air you're breathing out fades you to grey/ Don't run away, find me.<br/>(AU; mentions of drug use; profanity; Rentboy fic )<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	For Hire

It wasn't as if Burbank was the mecca of sex or some shit. Fuck. It was fucking _Burbank_. Mostly people came here to drink, watch a movie and stroll around the Town Center. Tommy was standing right at a corner off San Fernando road, his tight jeans on, tall boots, a shirt and a hoodie all in black with his hair the only shock of light color in the darkness. This was his spot, you know? His.

A car slowed down and then stopped, the window rolling down, black mustang, the top up, the guy inside looking sharp in a leather jacket. That was all he'd seen so far. Tommy moved his head to toss the hair out of his face as he bent down to his waist, smiling, peering at the driver. "Hey." The driver was cute. Nice eyes lined in black that made it pop out even more on his pale, freckled skin. He had fancy necklaces around his neck, a simple v-neck t-shirt that fit nicely tucked into dark jeans.

"Hi." Tommy's smile was returned. "You game for a little fun?" His hand slid up his thigh and Tommy was watching him place his black lacquered tipped fingers just at the side of his dick. And in those damned tight pants was obviously something huge. Tommy hoped he didn't stuff it. Been there done that, you know? But he couldn't help it. Tommy licked his lips just as the guy smiled.

Fuck that smile was both innocent and naughty and full of promises that it took Tommy a fuck of a lot of willpower to not just open the door and jump in. "Depends, man. You want a quickie, gimme forty. A hand job's twenty. Blow job's gonna cost a bit more but I know how to use my mouth. I'm gonna slop up your dick so good, guaranteed." He stood up and then slowly turned around, give the fucker a good look at the goods. He leaned against the window. Tommy didn't smile. He rarely did. "So?" Hurry up cos another car was slowing down.

The guy smiled. "Get in." Then Tommy heard the click as the door unlocked and he opened it, crawling in. "Nice ride." He could smell the leather seats, a hint of pot in the air and he grinned even brighter. He hoped the guy would share. "So what'll it be." The car started to drive up San Fernando road again.

The laughter that echoed in the car sounded musical in Tommy's ear. He smiled and canted his head to the side, his long hair on one side falling over his face. "What's so funny?"

"You. Asking me what it'll be when you don't even know my name." He lifted a brow, turning to look at Tommy before dragging his eyes to look back on the road he was driving on.

"You've never picked anyone up before have you?" Tommy frowned. "We're all supposed to be nameless and forgettable. That's the point."

"I haven't done this before, no," the guy admitted. "Usually I pick someone up at a bar or a club." The guy was smirking. Why was he smirking? That only made Tommy frown even more. "So, what's your name?"

"I told you. No names." He twisted in the seat and looked out the passenger window. Noobs.

"Well you didn't exactly tell me you didn't want to give me your name. You said that's how it's supposed to be but I'm telling you now, I _want_ to know your name." The driver turned the car toward the on-ramp to the 5 freeway, speeding up.

Tommy rolled his eyes. What the fuck is it with this guy? Didn't he understand? Tommy did _not_ want to give him his name. "Where we goin'?" Yup. He's ignoring it.

A quick look and then the guy was shaking his head, expression looking amused. "My house."

"Your house? You really are a noob." Tommy shook his head and peeking at the man from the corner of his eyes.

"I'm Adam." A shift in the seat, his thighs parting further and then he turned his head to look at the Tommy. "And since I'm taking you to my home, noob or not, I think it might be nice if you tell me your name."

For a long moment he didn't speak, looking out the window, watching cars and street lights whiz by. He let out an exasperated sigh. "Tommy," he mumbled scowling. "You're not some criminal or some shit are you? We could've gone to a motel or an alley somewhere." It wasn't as if he feared for his safety. Hell, Tommy had fucking good survival instincts, you know? Damn good. Adam don't scare the piss out of him. Ha.

"Do I really look like someone who would fuck in an alley? You don't need to worry." Adam rolled his eyes as he navigated the car through traffic. "My home is safe and I'll call you a cab, after."

Tommy scoffed. "You're paying for the cab," he said, turning head to look at Adam, taking in his profile, thinking, he wasn't so bad looking and he does have a rad looking car and dressed nicely. He could easily pay for the fucking cab. "You got food at your place? Got beer?" Might as well milk it.

Another look at the boy and Adam nodded. "Yeah, I do. And if you don't like what I have, we can order something. What's your favorite food ... Tommy?"

Tommy looked away and winced. Hr didn't like johns calling him by his name. Fuck. He shut his eyes and shook his head slightly. Shouldn't have given his real name.

"I could order?" Well, shit. This guy Adam _was_ new to this. "I like steak. You got steak? Or a real big ass cheeseburger." Fuck yeah. Tommy was hungry. With those fat fries, you know? And beer." He smirked now. Fucking rookie.

Tommy was welcome to think what he wanted, but Adam saw the way his eyes changed when he'd mentioned food. "That can be arranged. We can even go out for it, if you'd like." There weren't any limits, really, to what they could do. Whatever Tommy wanted.

What the hell did this guy think this was? A _date_? Huh. If that was what he wanted, Tommy wasn't going to say no. He looked straight ahead but was taking quick peeks at Adam though he wouldn't admit to being a little bit intrigued. This was only because he looked like the kind of guy who could get anything and maybe even anyone he wanted. Maybe he was picking Tommy up for the cheap thrill. Did he really care? He was going to get paid, right? And fed. That was good enough.

"So... What did you want? Just a fuck or is there anything else?" Tommy'd like to know now so he could give him a price, you know? For this guy? Adam? This ass wouldn't come cheap.

"... maybe a little time. A little conversation?" Adam smiled again. "I'll pay you for your time. Tell you what," he said as he pulled onto a road that led up into the hills. "What's your price for the night? All night."

"All night?" An expression crossed Tommy face, that he quickly got rid of, feigning indifference. "Two hundred." He smirked a bit. That would have been a _really_ good night in his terms. It wasn't as if he worked the red light district in Hollywood. It was fucking _Burbank_. "Plus the cab and food." He raised a brow. Deal?

"Two hundred? ... okay, then." They went through the gates of his community and drove slowly past large houses set back from the street. "Would you like to eat first? I can call."

Tommy didn't work the red light district for a reason and he wanted to do this on his own, no one pimping him around. His terms, you know? He didn't have to pay anyone else which was fine by him. "Whatever you want. It's your money." He shrugged a shoulder and was distracted with the view out the window. Fucking guy lived up in the hills. The damned hills. That was where the money was, no shit. "You live here?" Tommy couldn't help sounding curious and surprised.

"Mm-hmm."

The car pulled into a long driveway. Adam pushed a button and the gates swung inward before they continued onto a circle driveway in front of the house. Shutting off the car, he gave Tommy a smile. "Come on inside." The front door was well-lit and Adam opened the door, coding off the alarm (his body between Tommy and the keypad). "Have a seat." The room to the right was a sitting room, lit subtly by one table lamp. "I'll call for food."

Tommy was slow to walk in and look around, even tossing his head to get the hair out of his eyes for a better view. It was fucking fancy, Adam's place. What in the hell did he pick up Tommy for, seriously? Didn't look like he needed it. It didn't make sense. "Big ass burger, all right?" He reminded, distracted as he walked in the room Adam pointed to, feeling like a fish out of water in the fancy house with its unmistakably high end furniture. "Should've fucking charged more..." He murmured to himself, sitting down in a big ornate sofa.

"Right. Thanks," he heard a few minutes later as Adam reappeared, phone in one hand, beer in the other. He handed the bottle over to the boy. "The food should be here in about forty-five minutes," he added, watching Tommy watch him. "Make yourself at home." Tommy already was; it was a joke. Adam shrugged off his jacket, tossing over a chair.

He stuck out like a sore thumb, seriously. Felt like he should sit up straight and be all up-nosed snotty or whatever. But Tommy wasn't going to show Adam he was uncomfortable here. He slouched and then crossed his legs, taking the beer. "What is it you do, huh?" He asked, tossing back a good few gulps of beer. Fuck, that was good.

"I'm, mm." Adam looked around the room as he came closer, moving to sit on the other end of the sofa. "I'm in entertainment. Kind of like you?" There was another one of those smiles. "I'm not actually home very often." His kohled eyes looked Tommy over. "Do you live in Burbank?"

Okay. Now that they were out of the dark car and in brighter surroundings, Tommy finally let himself take a real good look at Adam. He was real tall, he looked good, fancy clothes and shit, too. He liked those eyes, all right? He did. They kind of felt like he was seeing right through Tommy the way he was looking, you know? Made him fidget a bit. "I live in Burbank, yeah. Entertainment huh? If it's like me then why'd you pick me up? You, like, auditioning me or some shit for those gay porn stuff?" He smirked. That would be wild, man.

"Um, _no_. I said like you, not exactly like you. I'm ... an entertainer, I guess you could say." Amusement crinkled the edges of Adam's eyes as if he was amused that Tommy didn't quite know what he meant. "I picked you up because you caught my eye. Isn't that what's supposed to happen?"

"Yeah. Okay." Too bad you know? Tommy could've used the money from gay porn and he bet he'd look hot in a video, too. He took another swig of beer, looking at Adam and that smile. It was like he was amused with him. Like some toy he just found. He knew that look and seen it. Fine by him. That's what he was, right? Tommy scooted forward and put his arms on his knees, looking up, his hair cascading down the side of his face, covering an eye. What now? Adam wanted talking and shit, right? So, talk, the way he gazed back at Adam said.

There was no reason to start anything before the food got there. So, Adam talked, about the city, about growing up in San Diego, then moving to Los Angeles, just vague enough to be untraceable. He sipped at his own sparkling water as he talked, rising when the buzzer went, indicating that there was someone at the gate. He let the delivery driver in, paid him and took the food. With the bags in hand, he gestured to Tommy. "We can eat in the kitchen. It's this way." Down a hall into a tiled kitchen in earth tones. He set the bag down and started to unpack it. "There's more beer in the fridge if you want one."

Tommy did, opening the big fancy refrigerator and found the beer. He poked his head out. "You want one?" He asked Adam, grabbing two anyway and closing the door. He followed to the table and leaned forward on his elbows after placing the two bottles down. "Here. I say have one anyway." He smirked which was closer to a smile, really. "That shit smells good." His stomach growled.

"Eat. Hopefully the fries aren't too soggy with the drive." Adam sat as well, though he ignored the beer. He unwrapped his burger, flattening out the paper before he took a bite. Something about his face lightened in seeing Tommy nearly smile.

This was when Tommy kind of let go a bit, not even aware that he had put down the mask, his face utterly readable as he held that burger in his hands and took a bite. A big bite. "Fuck, this shit is good. They don't have burgers like this near my place." He smiled looking at the large cheeseburger and then taking a fry and popping it in his mouth.

"I think they claim the beef is something special? Kobe, or something? I don't know, but it's good. I can't eat like this very often. I'm not skinny like some people," Adam teased, grinning. "Do you want some ketchup? Or mustard? I can't eat fries without mustard," he added as he stood up, going over to the fridge and pulling out the bottle to bring it back. "What's your favorite food?"

Tommy had no idea what Adam was talking about with this Kobe shit. He didn't care. It was good stuff. "Mustard?" He wrinkled his nose. "I'll have ketchup." As Adam stood up he took another, more careful look at him. "You look a'right to me." A shrug. "You should just eat what you want, you know? None of that fancy Hollywood vegetarian shit with the tofu and fake meat. Ugh." He took another bite and was talking and chewing. "I can eat anything." He even looked smug saying that because for a guy of his stature, his size, he really could pack it in.

"Yeah, well, I can't. Did you just size me up?" Adam teased, grinning. "Should I be flattered? I bet you hear this all the time, but you have amazing eyes." His fingers skated down Tommy's arm and away before he reached for a fry and ate it.

Adam's fingers on his arm left a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Tommy had to stop the shudder he felt. He blinked, a little surprised at how he reacted and then he looked back at Adam, cocking his head to the side. "Don't flatter yourself." He rolled his eyes but right as he was going to take a bite a small smile made its way to the corners of his lips. "...glad you liked the goods though. That is the point of me being here, right?" But honestly, at least Adam said his eyes, you know? It wasn't as if he was just a mouth that sucked and an ass to fuck.

Everyone was more than that. As they ate, Adam worked to draw more out of Tommy, small things, things too that made the boy smile. When the food was gone, he discarded the trash and thumbed toward the fridge. "I have some ice cream, I think. It shouldn't be too freezer burnt."

Was that his trip? Feeding someone is, like, some weird turn on? Tommy didn't get it. Then again he didn't have to get it. He'd do what he was told cos that was what he got paid for. "Yeah? What kind." He helped himself to opening the freezer in that fancy pull out bottom drawer kind of fridge. He rummaged around and found two. "Which one you want?" He was bent over the freezer, each hand holding an ice cream container.

"The mint chip is mine," Adam took that and got two spoons, handing one to Tommy. "Sorry." And his smile was bright, friendly and warm. Maybe this was about making sure Tommy was having a good time. It might be something he was used to having done. Maybe he could get used to it.

Tommy handed Adam the mint chip and took the fudge brownie one himself. "What? You're not gonna share? That's fucked up!" He was teasing, shaking his head, a faux frown on. He pulled the spoon from Adam's hand and followed the man around. "You got a real nice place, you know. " He pulled the cover out and dug his spoon in the hard ice cream. "It's real nice." He meant that.

"Thanks. I like it." Adam led him to another room, a bit more relaxed, the furniture stuffed and comfortable and he sank down into the cushions, carton in his lap as he started to eat. "I guess I _could_ share my ice cream." He spooned up a bite and offered it to Tommy with a smile.

Okay. So. Adam had different kinks. Tommy could hang with that. He sat down beside Adam and smirked at the offered spoonful. His fingers he wrapped around Adam's wrist and he helped guide the spoon in his mouth. Might as well make it a show, yeah? Lips parted slowly, he took the spoon in his mouth, sliding it out then licking the base of the spoon, too. It wasn't much of a seduction but Tommy did it just for the tease. More where that came from. He smirked and nodded. "I see why you like that." It was good mint ice cream. Guy got his dessert from fancy places too, he could tell.

A soft moan escaped, Adam's eyes locked on Tommy's mouth. He reached out, thumb brushing over that full lower lip. "Can I kiss you?" He asked, his voice husky. "... is that all right?"

Tommy darted the tip of his tongue to catch Adam's thumb and he nodded his head. "Yeah. Yeah, sure." He licked around his lips and was watching Adam's mouth move. Guess the game was about to start.

Hand cupping Tommy's face, Adam leaned in. He paused just shy of it, eyes flickering between his mouth and his eyes. He moaned again, softly, then closed the distance, kissing him softly at first, urging his mouth open to lick at his tongue.

Shit. The moment Adam's mouth touched his, no lie, his cock twitched and hardened. The fuck?! Tommy's eyes fluttered and then shut and then he heard the whimper, surprised it came out of his own mouth. He parted his lips and let Adam in, let him take over the kiss, feeling his tongue delve in his mouth, _tasting_ him and chocolate and mint, too. Damn.

The sound seemed to unleash something in Adam, who quickly set aside the ice cream and looped an arm around Tommy's waist, urging him back against the sofa so that Adam could lean over him kissing more deeply into his mouth, his other hand still cupping his face. It might not have been a reaction Tommy got much. It was almost as if Adam had waited a very long time for _this very moment_.

This wasn't something that had been done to him, no. Usually Tommy's mouth was used for something other than kissing. Who wanted a filthy whore's mouth on them, right? Not a lot. But the way Adam was kissing him made him feel all weak and weird. It was like he was fucking melting in the heat of it .. and it felt awesome. He stuttered a breath in and then kissed _back_, a louder, more desperate sound rumbled out of his chest while his arms found their way around Adam's shoulders, pulling him down even more.

Somehow they ended up on the sofa, spread out, Adam's hips between Tommy's legs, a hand still on Tommy's face, his other hand wrapped around Tommy's leg, urging it up his hip. The kisses paused only long enough for gasped breaths, for whispered words like "God," "more," "yeah," as Adam's hand slipped up under Tommy's shirt, spanning over warm skin.

He was breathless and it was because of that kiss and not, well, what Tommy was used to. "Fuck!" His hips jerked upward while he grabbed on to Adam's sides to press him down harder over his body. Tommy hooked that leg around Adam's hip and yeah, he was upthrusting in a slow rocking motion. Damn. He hadn't felt like this - about _wanting_ sex with someone in a long ass time.

When he pulled away again, Adam was flushed, breathless. "We ... need to go upstairs." To a bed. He got to his feet, only belatedly reaching for the cartons of ice cream, squeezed in one hand as he pulled Tommy with the other. The dessert was put back into the freezer, then they made their way up a long, wide curved staircase and down a hall to a bedroom dominated by a big, wide bed draped with a black silk comforter. Adam pulled him in, closing the door behind them. "I want to undress you. I want ... God, I want."

Tommy had to give himself a head shake. What the hell was going on? He'd had many tricks up the wazoo and none of them ever came to something like this. He, frankly, felt a little lost that all he could do was follow after Adam and then nod his head, the bravado on the streets and in the car seemingly gone.

It was Adam's words that seemed to snap him out of it. Tommy took a step forward and then he held Adam's wrists in his hands and he put them on his chest, sliding it himself to push that hoodie open. "Then take it off. Take it all off." To Tommy's surprise, his voice still sounded breathless and rough. "Do whatever you want."

There was another groan, seemingly pushed from low in Adam's chest. He pushed away the sweatshirt, pulling off the t-shirt under that. Those gone, he urged Tommy to sit, kneeling to take off his boots then work on the jeans and boxers under that, fingertips running over skin almost worshipfully as he leaned up to kiss him again, hand wrapped around the back of his neck to pull him closer.

When Tommy was completely naked and pressed to Adam he somehow felt vulnerable. He chalked that up to being in someone's actual house and not some motel off of San Fernando in a room that smelled of cheap whiskey and stale cigarette smoke. He tilted his head up and kissed Adam while his hands fisted the shirt Adam wore, holding on, holding himself up because Adam's kiss, for the second time that night, had made Tommy feel weak. His body rocked slowly side to side, feeling the rough material of Adam's clothes brushing against his skin making him grow hard between the legs, whimpering again as he opened up even more to the intense kiss.

Leaning down, Adam pushed Tommy to the bed, not breaking the kiss until the last possible minute. Then, he leaned up, on his knees and worked to pull off his clothes, revealing, even in the dim light, light skin littered with freckles. Shirt off first, then his slid back to his feet to take off the rest before climbing back onto the bed, moving to immediately kiss Tommy again as if hungry for his mouth, as if in those few seconds away, he'd been so _lonely_.

No one had ever kissed him the way Adam was kissing him. Tommy was growing more and more weak and pliant and _willing_. He feels Adam's skin warm against his, reaching out to touch, smooth his hands down the curve of Adam's back. The kiss deepened and it makes Tommy shudder, arching up his back curved and rising from the bed to press up against Adam's body. He could feel himself letting go and his mind was warring with his body, wanting him to be more coherent, more detached -- this was supposed to be just another fuck but Adam and his body was making that more and more difficult for his mind to believe.

It seemed to happen so easily. They seemed to move as if they knew each other; where to touch, how to touch and when. And when Adam finally pushed inside of Tommy, it was with something like relief, at least judging by the sounds he made. He pulled Tommy's leg up his body and bent down again, still kissing, still seeming to seek Tommy's mouth like it was air he needed to breathe. "Oh, God," he whispered. "You ... you feel so _good_."

Tommy was kind of foundering here. He wasn't used to this. He felt so lost. He was used to dropping down to his knees and sucking a cock. Used to going in a room and taking his clothes off, bending over something or getting on all fours. But this? This wasn't something done to him. As if Adam actually wanted him to _feel_ this, too. Tommy bit his bottom lip and with hooded eyes he looked, no, _stared_ at Adam's face. He was beautiful and Tommy tried to think of other things so that he wouldn't moan too loud like he actually enjoyed it, or say something like, "please," or, "god, yes" or, "more." Nothing that would tell Adam that he _was_ feeling this ... and it felt so _good_.

If Tommy wasn't mistaken, Adam was really as into it as he seemed to be. If he wasn't kissing Tommy's mouth, he was licking along his neck, breathing hot moans there as his hips snapped forward, as he laced the fingers of one hand together, using those joined hands to grasp and stroke Tommy's cock, too. Adam dug his knees under him a little more, rolling Tommy up a little more, to go deeper, to push harder, to take, it seemed, as much as he could.

It was as if Adam was insistent on him giving in to this. The way he moved, the way he _kissed_. Tommy was already close, his whole body trembled and then he was coming gloriously with his cock wrapped around both their hands. His orgasm made him clench Adam deep inside, his hips stuttering in movement to meet the thrusts while he threw his head back and let out a loud moan, his gasps quivering as he struggled to breathe. It was too much. Fuck! Too much. Too good. Too unfamiliar.

Adam pushed in as far as he could, hips snapping when he felt the clench. As he started to come, he pressed his sweaty forehead to Tommy's neck and groaned out low as his hips stuttered forward and he was moving with the pleasure that seemed to shoot through him. It was only a moment, but felt like longer when he finally raised his head, giving Tommy a blurry, sated smile, before kissing him yet again.

Tommy was kissing back. He was kissing _back_ and he was grabbing on to Adam like he didn't want him to go anywhere. Desire was something he didn't feel anymore. A fuck was a fuck, but this? Tommy had no words for what just happened -- what they just shared. He blinked rapidly, a hand coming up to brush the hair away from his face then wiping the sweat from his brow. He looked at Adam, his face stoic again, slipping that mask of indifference back on. "Good?" He asked, still breathless.

"God, yes." Eyes slipping away from that blank look, Adam pulled away to get rid of the condom, stretching up toward the ceiling before he turned back to the boy. "... all night, right?"

"All night, yeah." Fuck, his ass burned. Adam was _huge_ and in a way he was kind of glad he was going to stay. Another trick would have been painful even if he knew that Adam wasn't quite done with him yet.

Tommy pushed himself to sit, turning to Adam, allowing himself to take a good long, lingering look at his naked form before he let his eyes wander around the room. "You got a bathroom here? I gotta clean this spunk off..."

"Through there." Adam gestured to a smoked glass door. "Would you like something to drink? Whatever you'd like to have; you can make yourself comfortable. There should be a robe on the back of the door if you want to put that on."

A robe at the back of the door? What the actual fuck? Like some fancy hotel or something? Tommy just looked over his shoulder at Adam, face expressionless and then walked inside the bathroom, closing the door.

It was huge! Shit. It was probably the size of Tommy's apartment. He turned the tap on and cleaned he jizz off his belly, splashing water in his still hot face, too, before wiping himself dry. As he turned around he saw the robe and with a smirk he unhooked it and put it up against his nose. It smelled clean ... And it smelled like Adam. It made Tommy shiver and then he put it on, checking his reflection in the mirror. Shit like this didn't happen to him. It was nice. The robe was so soft. But as he stared at himself he frowned. This wasn't his life. _Get real, Ratliff_.

He took the robe off again and then he took one last whiff of the scent before hooking it back up. Tommy went back on the room and back in bed with Adam. "I'm cool," he said, stretching out with the man beside him.

"You are cool." Leaning back against the headboard, still naked, Adam smiled at him, reaching out to card fingers through his hair. "You're prettier up close. And you're pretty when you've come." It was an observation, but it didn't take a brain surgeon to see that there was more there. But what?

There he went using that word 'pretty' again but this time, Tommy didn't frown. He was glad Adam thought so because if not then he wouldn't be here, right? What he couldn't stop was one corner of his mouth from lifting ever so slightly. He kinda liked hearing that you know? Mostly because of the way Adam said it -- like he meant it. Tommy then shrugged a shoulder and pretended that it didn't affect him one bit. "Dunno about coming... I don't think anyone looks good when they come." Except Adam. Tommy wasn't going to admit that.

"I disagree." A smile played over Adam's mouth too, his mind clearly elsewhere for a moment before he focused back on Tommy. "I'm going to kiss you again," he said, hand coming around his cheek and pulling him close. The kiss this time was slow, gentle, showing that Adam knew that they had _time_.

As it turned out, they didn't leave the bedroom again, though the sheets were messed beyond salvage by the time the sun came up. Only then did Adam guide Tommy back downstairs. He made eggs and bacon; it wasn't too difficult. Toast, too, wearing the robe that Tommy had rejected the night before. When he handed over the plate, he asked, quietly, "do you want me to call the cab?" Maybe there was something behind his eyes there. Or maybe not.

Tommy was only in his jeans, no shirt on, tattoos even more colorful in the morning light. He looked down at his plate and slowly he gave Adam a shoulder shrug. "Yeah ... This looks good. Aren't you eating?" He said, still not looking at the man. He instead picked up a fork and dug into the eggs, taking a mouthful so he didn't have to talk. He could have mentioned the money, he could have asked for payment already but Tommy felt out of his element here. He'd never been treated this way before.

There was a pause before Adam spoke again, bringing his own plate over and sliding into the chair. "... I don't have to leave again until tomorrow. I would ... I could pay you for another day. If you ... if you wanted to stay." He studied his plate, fork moving the eggs around, instead of looking at Tommy.

That made Tommy's head whip up and he met Adam's eyes. "What?" Was he serious? Another day? Not that it was a hard decision. It was easy money. He didn't have to stand around the street corner. He'd be fed and have beer and lay around on a soft and big bed with a bathroom bigger than his fucking place. Who wouldn't want that? "You're fucking _on_ but you gotta pay me for last night now ... and tomorrow give me triple that ... no, four times that much." There was something in his eyes, if Adam would look closely. Maybe it was gratitude. But then Tommy blinked it away.

"That was the plan the first time, you know. You undersold yourself." With a smile, Adam got up, left the room, returning with some folded bills that he handed over, sliding them across the table for Tommy to take. It was, when he counted it, two thousand dollars. He sat again, then and started to eat, watching Tommy surreptitiously from the corner of his eye.

Tommy was quick to reach for the money. That was what all this was about, right? He counted it, his hands shaking just a little. Two grand. Adam gave him two _fucking_ grand. He flicked his eyes toward Adam, making sure his long hair was draped over the side of his face as he took a peek at him. He didn't get it. Maybe he would never get it. So, without a word about the amount of cash he had, Tommy wadded up the bills and stuffed it into the front pocket of his jeans. "One more day." Those three words was him sealing the deal. "Whatever you want."

And even though his head was bowed, Adam smiled.

~~

By the time that Tommy was to leave, Adam was as well and with his travel bag over his shoulder, he offered Tommy a ride in the car service car so he could be dropped off after Adam was dropped at the airport. By this time, Tommy had seen the gold records on the wall, heard how often his cell phone went off, how he ignored it to touch or taste Tommy's skin. But when the doorbell rang, Adam looked over at him. "Are you coming, then?"

The longer part of Tommy's hair was still a bit damp from the shower they took together. He brushed it aside to look at Adam and nod his head. "Yeah. I'll go." He was tired, to be honest. But for the first time in, well, never, he had to admit it was a good tired. Adam knew to take care of him. It was -- different. Maybe he did milk it a bit but never would it be said that he did do anything and everything that Adam wanted. He made sure that he gave the man his money's worth. Because that money? That was a helluva lot more than Tommy was accustomed to having.

They went out the door and Tommy followed Adam to the car and he crawled in back in the same clothes he came in with his hoodie wrapped around his waist this time. This was it, you know? It had been awesome in more ways than just the money but Tommy doubted he'd see Adam again. He shouldn't care. He shouldn't. But then maybe he kinda did. Just a little.

For the first few minutes of the drive, Adam looked out the window, but then, as they got closer to the freeway and the airport, he turned to Tommy. There would be no exchange of numbers. It was a business transaction, nothing more. But his smile was soft. He reached out, running his thumb over Tommy's lower lip, then letting his hand rest on his thigh. "... I'll see you around," he finally said.

Tommy was looking out the other window, too. He could feel the thick rolled up cash in his pocket, full and heavy there. A constant reminder. He had no choice but to turn his head to look at Adam when he felt the touch and instantly he met his eyes and then his gaze dropped down to his lips. He swallowed. Hard. Tamping down the urge to feel Adam kiss him again. It was over and maybe deep inside Tommy only wanted a little something to remember Adam by. "Maybe you will," he said, his lower lip where Adam touched it felt like it was tingling, "maybe you won't." The smirk was back, as was the bravado; it made Adam smile, though the edges weren't quite as sharp as they could be.

At the airport, before the door could open, Adam put on a pair of sunglasses and gave Tommy a smile. That seemed like it was going to be it before he leaned in, mouth plush against Tommy's. "I'll see you," Adam whispered again and then he was gone, door closed against the glare of flashbulbs going off.

"Where to?" Tommy heard the driver ask.

Tommy kept looking at Adam until he could no longer see him, disappearing in the busy LAX crowd. He signed softly and then his finger traced around his lips, still feeling Adam's kiss before he gave his head a sharp shake. The fuck. That was it. Done. They were done.

He faced the driver. "Burbank," Tommy said, slouching down on the seat, the car pulling off the curb and headed back out into the street.

~~~

It was two weeks. More than two weeks, actually, sixteen days, before Tommy saw Adam again. Before he saw the Mustang roll along the street where he'd first seen it. He could watch the window roll down again, too, as Adam - or at least he thought it was Adam - waited for Tommy to walk up.

When he saw Tommy's face in the window, Adam pushed his sunglasses up onto his head. "Hi."

Tommy would be lying if he said he was completely unaffected seeing Adam and his car stop right at the corner of the street. He gasped, his heart started racing and it took a few deep breaths to get his composure back. Just like the first time, Tommy bent down and then he combed his long hair back so he could peer through the window. "Hey." He tried not to smile. He failed but only briefly. "Back for more?"

"I guess I am." The door nearest Tommy clicked unlocked. "Get in. I'm assuming you're hungry?" Adam was wearing a smile of his own as Tommy climbed in. "We can stop somewhere if you want."

"Ever had Tommy's?" He smirked. "And I don't mean me." There was a small chuckle that slipped out. "It's that chili-burger place. I want some chili cheese fries too. It's just a few blocks down San Fernando here." Tommy pointed to the street and then he turned his head the smirk back in place. "You're car's gonna smell nasty though." No. Tommy was not apologetic.

"You have a Tommy's out here? Huh." Adam started driving in the direction Tommy pointed. "I haven't been to Tommy's in ages." A few blocks more and he looked over again, asking, "so ... how have you been?" The weird thing was? He really seemed to care about Tommy's answer.

"Eh." Tommy made a face and he was turning to look out the window but didn't quite make it. He looked at Adam instead. "Same shit, you know?" Not that Adam cared. Small talk was part of the game. "So, you had fun with your famous friends?" Maybe he said that a little too sharply. He'd finally looked Adam up and saw what he did and shit. He was fucking big even if he wasn't exactly Tommy's type of 'entertainer.' It only made him think about him being Adam's cheap thrill. That was why he was here again. It was for a thrill. Like that British whatsitsface with the skank that got caught.

The sharpness of Tommy's tone drew Adam's attention away from the road for a moment before he looked back. But he had to pull into Tommy's first, casting concerned glances over as he got into the drive-through line. "What do you want? You can order whatever you want." But then, Tommy should know that, from their first time together. As they waited, though, he said, quietly, looking forward. "It's a job, Tommy."

"Huh?" He looked at Adam, bewildered. "The fuck you talking about?" Quick on the defensive and it was something that Adam had never seen. He didn't give a fuck though. "My job? I know my job. I know, all right?"

"No." But they were interrupted to order. Adam let Tommy order first, then himself and he pulled forward. "What I do. It's a job. It's not about being around famous people or ... I do that because it's part of the job." His hand came to rest on Tommy's thigh. "That's all I was saying."

Tommy gave a petulant shrug, looking away from Adam. "Fine. It's your job. I get it and I don't care. I was asking to make conversation. It's also what you'll pay me for, right?" He had his arms crossed over his chest now, frowning and closed off. They get to the window and that was good because Tommy didn't think he could take the tension in the air even if he caused it. The cardboard box with their yellow and white paper wrapped food got handed to them. Tommy put the stuff on his lap, the sharp smell of chili and onions filled the air. "Fuck yeah." He grinned and unwrapped the fries, taking one and popping it in his mouth.

As Adam pulled back onto the street, heading for the freeway and the hills, he watched Tommy from the corner of his eye. "Good?" He asked as he reached over to take a fry himself and put it in his mouth. "We can talk about whatever you want. I'm ... sorry that my ... what I do ... seems to upset you so much. I'm glad to see you, though."

It wasn't what Adam did. It was why he was doing this -- picking Tommy up again because he still didn't get it. "I'm not upset." Why would he be? It wasn't as if he had any claim on Adam or what he did, right? Tommy didn't care ... He _shouldn't_ care. But then he pushed that thought away in favor of something else. "How long this time?" Tommy asked outright, sipping his soda, looking at Adam. Business was business, you know?

But he might've missed the hurt that flashed through Adam's eyes as he concentrated more on driving than on his passenger. "The whole night again," Adam told him, voice dull. "Your money's in the glove compartment if you'd like it now." Reaching over, he turned up the music; no sense in having a conversation, was there? This was business.

The change in Adam's tone wasn't lost on Tommy. He took a quick glance at Adam just as he was turning the radio on and for a brief moment his brows drew together. The hell was that about? Tommy turned to look at the glove compartment, deciding whether to reach for it now or wait. A short debate and he was opening it, taking the thick envelope out and shifting in his seat to pocket the money. He wasn't going to count, that even if he didn't know Adam too well, he did know that Adam would have put in the right amount. He leaned back on his seat and was humming to the tune on the radio just as they entered the gates and drove toward Adam's house.

Just as with the first time, Adam led Tommy inside, resetting the alarm. With some of their food still to eat, he led Tommy to the kitchen and the table. He fetched napkins and brought them over as he sat, then he opened his own burger and ate it slowly, eyes on his food rather than the boy.

Okay. So. Tommy _really_ noticed that Adam was being quiet. He didn't know why and there was this internal debate going on in his head. Should he find out? Should he give a fuck? But then from the first time they were together, Adam did say Tommy was here not only for sex but conversation and time. He ate his chili burger and what was left of his fries all the while taking quick glances over at Adam. "So ... where'd you go?"

Looking up, Adam wiped his mouth with a napkin. "New York. A charity concert and an appearance. Regis and Kelly." He paused, unsure if Tommy would want to know more. "Regis kept mispronouncing my name." And he smiled, just a little before eating another fry.

"How in the hell does anyone mispronounce your name?" Tommy had to smile. It wasn't as if Adam's name was a tongue twister, you know? "You say it like you read it." Idiot. He shook his head but could not get the smile off his face.

"I know. I think at one point it came out 'Lambutt.'" But Adam's smile was brighter when he caught sight of Tommy's. "You ... you've been reading up on me." Which might have explained a little bit of what happened in the car. "If you want, the Regis thing will be on tomorrow morning." Which implied, didn't it, that Tommy would still be ... here.

It couldn't have been stopped it, no way, no how. Tommy barked out a laugh and good thing he was done eating and didn't have food in his mouth. "No shit? No shit! Lambutt?" And it took a while for him to calm the hell down. He clutched his side and when he finally looked up at Adam and met his eyes, Tommy's was bright with mirth and his cheeks were flushed from laughing so hard. "I looked you up, yeah. Library had computers." He shrugged it off, feeling his cheeks ache from the laughter, looking at his food and pushing it away. He was done eating. "I'll stay long as you wan-- pay me to."

It was an amazing smile and a beautiful laugh. "... I don't have to leave again until Sunday." Four days from then. "... if you haven't got any plans?" Without prompting, Adam reached out again, thumb brushing along Tommy's jaw.

It was either the touch or what Adam said -- what Adam _wanted_ from him that made him feel this shock of electricity shoot down from that touch all the way down to between his legs. Four days with Adam. Four grand. He didn't have to turn tricks for a while with that kind of money. But why? Why was Adam doing this? And why him? "It's not like I have anything going on..." Tommy's voice was softer and the smile had faded, replaced with a questioning look. _Why?_

Tommy knew that Adam had friends; famous friends. He knew from the internet that Adam had cameras follow him and that his every public move was documented, even how he'd broken up with his boyfriend of six months. He watched Adam shrug. "Then stay." If he did answer, it might be something like how this was less complicated. No strings. He caught Tommy's hand, pulling it up to kiss the palm.

Those lips were soft on his palm and it caused a shiver to ripple up his arm and pool in his chest. Tommy stared at Adam's lips, that freckle right there. He suddenly felt the urge to kiss it but then Tommy flicked his eyes to meet Adam's. "Same price. Okay." He nodded his head slowly, pushing back, away, because the urge to actually chase after those lips grew stronger.

"Okay." And with something like promise in his eyes, Adam went back to eating his burger.

~~

It was late that night and Tommy was tucked up next to Adam in the big bed in the big bedroom when Adam whispered, "I'm glad you're here." The sweat had hardly dried, legs still tangled and the words were pressed to the back of Tommy's neck.

Tommy was still breathing hard, his chest rising and falling slowly, pressing back more against Adam's chest. His brows furrowed and he thought about maybe how lonely Adam could be if he was glad for the company of someone like Tommy. He didn't answer but he was real glad he was here, too. The sex was the same, just like that first night, and, well, the second, from before. It was intense. Tommy still refused to acknowledge that he liked it. Enjoyed it even. "I have to borrow clothes." Can't be walking around a nice house in the same stuff he came in with, right?

"... we should go shopping." Tommy could feel Adam's smile pressed to his skin. It was enough like Pretty Woman to be a little ridiculous, but if Tommy knew anything about Adam it was that he liked to shop. "My treat, of course."

"You've been watching too many chick flicks." Tommy turned and looked back over his shoulder. "I am not Julia fucking Roberts." He shook his head. "I'm no fucking Pretty Woman so stop thinking it." He wasn't sure if Adam was thinking it but Tommy sure as hell was. "But, hey, if you wanna do that I'm not gonna say no." Milking it for all it's worth. That was the game plan, right? Right.

"My stuff would fall off you. We'll go shopping." There. It was settled. Adam pulled Tommy closer, nose tucked into his neck.

~~

When they returned the next day, the driver popped trunk so that they could get the bags. There were a lot of bags. Adam, going for low profile, was in a baseball cap and sunglasses, but his smile was obvious as he gestured Tommy inside. It had been an _expensive_ trip, but nothing worth having was cheap. "I'm starving!" He said. "I think we should order sushi and you can give me a fashion show."

"Sushi?" Tommy made disgusted face but didn't say anything else. He would have had a sharp comeback but not now. Not today. Adam had been, well, generous. Maybe even more than that. Tommy kept his face stoic the whole time they were shopping but internally he was wincing at the amount of shit Adam bought for him and how much they fucking cost. He made a mental note then and there that if he got to keep this shit and take it with him, he'd sell it off if he ever ran out of money. "Why am I going to do a fashion show? Didn't you just see this shit on me in the store?"

'That's not the same thing," Adam noted as he picked up the phone, speed-dialing his favorite place. "This way, you can go slow and I can really see how good you look. Honestly, you have an amazing body. Hi!" He said into the phone as he ordered and when he ended the phone he gave Tommy a sunny grin. "Did you have fun?"

Tommy scoffed and then turned around and shook his head. All the bags were in that comfortable sitting area (damned place had too many living rooms) and he headed that way. He didn't want to look at his face, see?. Because you know what? He _did_ have fun and it wasn't because of the shopping trip. Tommy had fun because of Adam. Once he got to the middle of the room he put his hand out and gestured at the bags. "Where do you want to start?"

"The Gaultier." Adam came into the living room with a beer for Tommy and a water for himself, handing over the bottle before he sat down, one leg crossed over the other as he made himself comfortable. He pulled off the hat and fluffed at his hair, sunglasses thrown aside, too. "Their jeans are to die for."

"The what?" Tommy looked at his feet where at least a dozen bags were scattered and he started rummaging inside them. "That black one with the silver shit on it?" He flicked his eyes at Adam. He was doing this cos he was paid to do this, okay? Adam wanted him to do a fucking fashion show so he was gonna indulge the guy. This wasn't because he liked the dressing up or he thought this was fun and maybe he'd keep seeing that look on Adam's face. Nope. This was definitely not because of _that_.

"Yep," Adam said with an amused chuckle. "That's the one." He gestured with his water. "The Gaultier jeans and the top from ... where was it ... Juicy? I think it was Juicy. Try it? With the Chanel boots."

It took Tommy a while to get it straight. See, he had no idea who or what this designer shit was. He wriggled out of his Burbank-smelling clothes and put on the designer duds and thought to himself, all this shit he could get over at Santee for the price of this one pair of jeans and still get change. But--whatever Adam wanted. So he pulled the tight jeans up, groaning, glaring at Adam because this was skin fucking tight! The shirt and the boots followed and he straightened up while blowing a breath to rid his hair off his face. "There." Tommy stood in front of Adam and turned around.

"At least try to look like you're not being tortured," Adam laughed. He got up, set his water aside and came over. The shirt needed adjusting to lay right as did the hem of the jeans over the boots. Then he could stand back, hands on his hips and smile. "You look amazing. Really. Go look in the bathroom and see." Yes, even Adam's downstairs bathroom had a full sized mirror.

"You really think it's safe to walk?" Tommy slanted Adam a glance, his smirk playful. "I feel like I"m gonna rip the ass off this if I move." He laughed now then rolled his eyes and yes, he started to walk toward the bathroom -- really slowly. Looking at his reflection, Tommy had to admit that he did look good. He wasn't sure if it was the clothes or maybe something else seemed a little bit different about him somehow. "It's a'right." He shrugged and wanted to feign disinterest but it was really kind of hard to do now.

"All right?" Adam said from where he leaned against the doorjamb. "You look _hot_." Coming up behind Tommy, he urged his shoulders back, angled him as if he was having his picture taken, and grinned at his reflection in the mirror. "See? Seriously. Nothing wrong with admitting that you look hot."

He was smiling because, well, he _did_ look hot. Tommy was looking intently at his reflection in the mirror, cocking his head and then the smile kind of faltered. This wasn't his life. It wasn't. This was dress-up. Fake. Tommy turned around to hide the expression on his face, masking it with a smirk. "I'm hot already; don't matter what I wear." The cockiness was back.

"Well, that is true, but this helps." Adam gave Tommy a swat on the ass before he ducked out. "There are more outfits to try on, you know." He settled back down on the sofa. "So show me your hot ass." His smirk was evident in his voice.

"Like you didn't get enough of this ass last night." Tommy smirked back. It was a wonder how they slid into this banter with Tommy able to joke around about how much sex they have. As long as he didn't mention the money involved, he thought they were good. They got along. It was different, but it was nice.

A few more outfits and already Tommy was growing tired of getting in and out of clothes. "It's not like I have anyplace to wear this in, you know?" He grumbled, scowling down at yet another pair of tight jeans he was trying to peel off his legs.

"You never know," Adam answered, quietly, looking down at his nails, picking at the polish there. "You don't have to try the rest on. I'll take them up to the room so they're out of the way." He stood, not looking at Tommy as he repacked bags to take them upstairs.

Tommy finally was free from those damn tight jeans that almost cut the circulation to his legs and he stood there in one of the t-shirt they bought and his boxer shorts. His eyes followed Adam and then he picked up the remaining bags and followed after him. Maybe, he thought as he went up the steps, that it was best to leave these clothes here. It really wasn't his and it didn't really belong in his life. He tried not to think of the possibility of being brought back after these four days here. He didn't want to expect. Tommy didn't want to _hope_.

And he apparently didn't think of how ungrateful he would appear either. Adam set the bags he carried down in a guest bedroom and brushed past Tommy back out the door. "There's a robe in the bathroom if you want one." He went back downstairs to a sitting room with a fireplace, turning on the gas logs and some music on the stereo that piped through the house.

For each time they had a great time together, there was also the part where things become slightly odd and uncomfortable. Tommy, much as it was a great fantasy and shit, could never see himself in a setting like this -- a life like this. His belonged in Burbank and one dark corner on San Fernando Road and that dank and smelly apartment that he had. He sat on the bed for a while. What did it mean that the clothes Adam brought were here in the extra bedroom. Did it mean he didn't want Tommy in his bed tonight?

Tommy sighed and put on some sweats they got, too and headed back downstairs, peering into several rooms before he finally found Adam. "Hey. Uhm... you wanna eat? I can, you know, cook something?"

"I ordered sushi," he was told, just as the buzzer to the front gate rang. Adam went to let him in, paying the delivery person and bringing in the boxes. "If you don't like sushi, you can help yourself to the fridge. Oh, and Tommy?" he said, as he passed him again. "You don't have to worry; I won't take you shopping again. Clearly you didn't want to go and I could've saved myself a lot of money and frustration by not going." Then he disappeared into the kitchen. "A thank you never hurt anyone."

Wait. What?! Tommy strode after Adam and caught his arm, whirling him around. "Wait a minute! Don't put this back on me. _You_ wanted to go shopping. I said I'd borrow clothes from you but you insisted. _You_ wanted to go to those designer places. I'd have been fine getting a t-shirt from WalMart!" Tommy huffed, his body tense, his hands fisted to his sides. Adam wanted to play dress him up like a pet and Tommy let him and now Adam wanted thanks? "Fine! Thanks for the fancy clothes that I can't wear cos if anyone back in Burbank found out how much those things cost they'd fucking steal it but not before beating my ass up!" He pulled the shirt off his body, the sweatpants he pushed down, leaving both on the ground. "Take it all back if it cost you too much. I don't need it. i don't fucking want it." Tommy didn't belong here and none made that more plain as day than this right here. He turned around and walked back to the living room where his own clothes were still sitting on the floor.

After a moment, Adam came in to where Tommy was, his arms crossed over his chest, face set, even if his eyes were tired and sad. "You can keep the money I paid you, and the clothes if you'd like. I'll call you a cab. I'm sorry I ... _inconvenienced_ you, Tommy." He pulled his phone from his jacket pocket and dialed the cab company.

Tommy was yanking his shirt down, the envelope with the money already on the table with him taking only what he felt Adam owed him for the night. He cut a glance at Adam. "You know what this is?" He said, voice lower, even. "This is a vacation. This is a fantasy." Tommy gestured around. "I go back and that's my life, Adam. That. Back in Burbank." He headed toward the door. "I'll find my own way, thanks."

He heard nothing else as he left and Adam didn't follow him. The gates to the house opened so he could leave and closed with a clank behind him. The neighborhood was very quiet, the houses tastefully lit, but they all said nothing.

~~

His apartment was really a rented room with one of those pull down from the wall beds and a small kitchen and an even smaller shower. It wasn't that bad, really. Okay, it was total crap, the pipes a bit rusty and there was this dank smell coming from the really old, what used to be shag but was now just threadbare carpet.

The room was drafty was why the heat always escaped and by the time Tommy was back in the morning the room was still fucking cold.

So now he was curled up on the bed with three blankets over him and was shaking, his ass fucking freezing. The damned place was run on radiators and it had one master switch in the manager's office. They had it on a timer and shit and it didn't turn on in the mornings. Just his luck.

As he lay there he thought about getting a small electric heater to keep warm. He noticed his room heater had broke after he'd come back and Tommy didn't want to go back out there just to replace it. So there he was shivering under the covers, tired but unable to sleep.

He kept the room with garbage bags taped to the only window, no lights or lamps on, just him and the dark. Right next door was mariachi music playing real loud, muted voices, and in the distance, traffic, cars, sirens. Tommy brushed the hair away from his eyes and tossed and turned again before pulling his knees to his chest to keep warm.

He shut his eyes and tried to drown the noises out with his thoughts instead.

Adam came to mind. Actually, Adam and his bed. He had a real soft, big bed with fluffy pillows and that thick down comforter thing that felt real nice on his skin and it was a really, really warm cover. The times he'd lay there he liked just staying under it and just burrowing himself with nothing but a bit of his hair peeking out from under the silk.

He thought about that now. From the very first time he had stayed and he and Adam slept with Adam spooned behind him was so nice and comfortable that Tommy forgot about how he hated being held. All that snuggling after sex stuff never happened to him. Well, not until Adam.

So, with all that in his mind, that big bed, the warm covers, Adam's naked body wrapped around his had Tommy frowning under his own three layers of blankets in his cold, dark room. The noises melted away and the last thing Tommy saw in his mind's eye was the image of Adam smiling at him. Sleep came, finally. It was dreamless but never peaceful.

When he woke up, it was nearly noon and the sun was trying to work its way through his garbage bag window covers. Perhaps it was irony, or something more. Perhaps it was just coincidence that when Tommy flipped on the TV to have some noise, there was Regis and Kelly. And sure enough, just then was when Reeg introduced Adam as Adam "Lambutt." Even on the crappy small screen, Tommy could see Adam grimace before it turned into a smile. "Thanks so much for having me!"

"So. You just put out your third album. What are you ... what's your message with this one, Adam? Because I gotta say ... " Regis made a face to the audience as he held up the album cover, all white with a barely-there outline of Adam's face.

"Reeg, it's artistic!" Kelly shouted.

"... actually, it's about how the music comes first on this one," Adam tried to explain over the laughter. "How I'm second to the songs. I wanted to really focus on what I was doing musically, so ... that's why the album cover is nearly blank."

Tommy was sitting on the bed, eyes glued to the TV, pulling his knees to his chest and hugging them as he listened to Adam's voice. He could still hear the words he said to him. The ones he'd say when they were in bed. Then he remembered the conversation they had. Lambutt. It was actually funny and he had to smile.

He stares at Adam's close up on the screen and Tommy could make out where the freckles on his face would have been if not hidden with make-up. He frowned and looked away from the TV. Why the hell was he thinking about Adam? Why was he remembering things he should forget? It was done. Finished. That little fantasy world is now gone.

There was more talk, then, and Kelly actually asked about who Adam was dating, which caused another one of those barely-there grimaces to cross Adam's face and disappear again. "Oh, you know. I'm between relationships right now, actually. I'm so busy it's hard to find the time, you know?"

Which of course, gave Kelly and Regis both a chance to mug to the cameras. "Oh, to have such problems!" And the crowd roared. "We'll come back and Adam will be performing! Live! In our studio! Don't go away!"

Tommy wished that he could, you know, go away, turn off the TV. But he didn't, kicking the blankets off his legs and standing up taking the three steps he needed to get to the kitchen. He pulls out a box of cereal, shoving his hand inside, plopping back down on the bed and then he turned the volume up.

Adam was the in between relationships and Tommy was that in between. Didn't anyone know that? Amazing how no one had caught on even after that shopping trip when they were in full view of the public. Not a good image with Adam being around a whore, right?

"And here's Adam Lamb-- " "Lambert, Reeg!" "Performing 'Come Home' off his new album Music Again."

There was just Adam with a piano. He half-sat on a stool, a leg extended as he began to sing, looking off, past the camera.

_Hello world  
Hope you're listening  
Forgive me if I`m young  
For speaking out of turn  
There`s someone I`ve been missing  
I think that they could be  
The better half of me  
They`re in their own place trying to make it right  
But I`m tired of justifying  
So i say you`ll..._

 

Come home  
Come home  
Cause I`ve been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all i see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I`ve ever known  
So come home  
Oooh

I get lost in the beauty  
Of everything i see  
The world ain`t as half as bad  
As they paint it to be  
If all the sons  
If all the daughters  
Stopped to take it in  
Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin  
It might start now..Yeahh  
Well maybe I`m just dreaming out loud  
Until then

Come home  
Come home  
Cause I`ve been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all i see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I`ve ever known  
Ever known  
So come home  
Oooh

Everything i can`t be  
Is everything you should be  
And that`s why i need you here  
Everything i can`t be  
Is everything you should be  
And that`s why i need you here  
So hear this now

Come home  
Come home  
Cause I`ve been waiting for you  
For so long  
For so long  
And right now there's a war between the vanities  
But all i see is you and me  
The fight for you is all I`ve ever known  
Ever known  
So come home  
Come home

Tommy was back to hugging his knees to his chest, watching Adam intently. He looked like he was going to fucking cry while he sang the song. The hell? But then Tommy felt his chest tighten, too, at Adam's voice, those lyrics, and seeing Adam ... especially after the way Tommy left his house.

He frowned and turned away. Why was he thinking of all this? They had a few days spent together, so what? It was nice while it lasted but it was over now. That fantasy was gone.

"Adam Lambert, ladies and gentlemen!" And the screen faded to a commercial.

~~

Several days after Tommy had left Adam's house, he stood there at his corner, looking nonchalant, acting like a kid just hanging out, maybe waiting for his friends. It was why he did this here and not walking the streets of Hollywood. If they knew what they were searching for, people would know where to look.

But things had changed.

Even as he stood there Tommy couldn't help but watch each and every car roll by. In the back of his mind he kept thinking, no, more like expecting a black Mustang with the top up to slow to a stop in front of him. It got so bad that he always heard his breath hitch anytime a black car passed by. He huffed a breath and ran his fingers through that long part of his hair. What the fuck? You know? What the fuck was it with Adam that had him constantly thinking of the man?

But he knew the answer to that. Never had he been treated the way Adam had treated him. From the gentle way he'd touch Tommy, to how he'd make sure he was not hungry, that Tommy was comfortable.

...and then there were the kisses. Those kisses. Fuck. Tommy licked around his lips and it was an unconscious move as he let the memory sieze him and take him back. His eyes fluttered closed and he could almost feel Adam's warm breath on his lips right before they kiss, the way his tongue felt as it traced around his mouth before slipping between his lips and moving slow and intimate and then tangling with his. He shuddered at the memory and then Tommy blinked and opened his eyes. He was back home. Back where he belonged. Adam was now a distant memory. A nice dream that would never be real.

~~

Interestingly enough, it was a black car that stopped in front of Tommy a few days, maybe even a week, later. And just as before, the window came down. But it wasn't Adam behind the wheel. It was a very harried looking woman with hair in her face as she pushed her glasses up her nose. "Are you Tommy?"

He was bent forward, his ass sticking up his head cocked to the side. "Who wants to know?" He tried not to frown in case this chick was here to pick him up. Bad enough that he could still feel his heart thumping, still not over seeing the car and expecting Adam. He masked his expression, stoic, as usual, waiting for her to answer.

"Listen," she huffed out, rolling her eyes, again nudging her glasses up her nose. "Are you? Or are you not? I have a shit-ton of things to do today and so wasn't expecting this to be one of them. Just answer the question. If you're not, can you tell me where to find someone named Tommy?"

Tommy considered for a moment before he nodded his head ever so slightly. "I'm Tommy." He kept his eyes narrow and was completely suspicious of this person and he wasn't sure why.

"Thank God. Okay, here." She stuffed an envelope into his hand and sat back behind the wheel. "I don't know, don't ask, okay? I'm going now, arms off the car, mmkay." She nudged the car away until Tommy was clear, then she took off.

He looked at the car as it disappear down the street and then he shoved the envelope in his pocket. He headed back to his apartment, closed and locked the door, flicking a light and then he sat on his bed and stared at the envelope, a phone number and a woman's name scratched in front of it. Probably that chick who gave this to him, Tommy guessed.

Opening the envelope slowly, he peered inside, pulling out the note and reading it. You undervalued yourself again. AL Tommy thumbed the things inside and from first look he guessed there was a thousand dollars there, a Visa card and phone card.

The fuck was Adam's game anyway? This wasn't how it was played.

"Fuck you." Tommy fell on his back on the bed, staring at the cracks and the leak spots on the ceiling, the envelope he fisted in his hand. "Leave me the fuck alone!" Now if only he could get Adam out of his head.

So, Tommy had a bit of extra dough, right? Adam was a sucker. Yeah. That's right. He was a sucker and Tommy played him and he got money for it, right? At least, that was what Tommy told himself. He walked down the hall to a buddy's place with a case of beer and high-fiving, grabbing a bottle and plopping his tired ass on the sofa. "Fuck." See? Life was good.

"You turnin' tricks in LA or some shit?" His buddy, Brian, asked. "What the fuck, dude. You never bring the beer. You're always mooching your ass off my shit."

Tommy just smirked and then he took a swig of his beer. "Just drink the fucking beer, asshole." Yeah. Keep them guessing. He wasn't going to tell them where he'd run off to. He put his feet up on the table and slouched. "It's not gonna last and I'll be back here mooching." Tommy turned to Brian and made a face then laughed.

"You're so fucking classy, asswipe." Brian rolled his eyes, kicking at Tommy's legs. "What the fuck. D'you bring the pot or am I payin' for that? Like always."

Oh, the smirk grew deeper and Tommy put his feet up on the damned table again, reaching in his jacket pocket for a ziplock bag. "Start rollin' fucker!" He looked smug, damn straight!

"'Bout fuckin' time you pull your weight, Rat-leaf." Brian started to roll, sending glances over to his buddy as he did. "You steal from somebody or some fuck up like that?"

"Look at me." Tommy pulls his arms out. "Do I look like I can actually beat someone's shit up? " He could, probably, but not likely. He grinned lopsidedly, his hair bouncing as he nodded his head. "This ass was just that good, man."

"Dude, I don't even wanna know." Smirking, Brian lights the joint and takes a deep pull before handing it over. "There's a fuckin' horror movie thing on TV today. Wanna watch? Don' even feel like movin'."

"Find something good." He gestured to the TV and then Tommy took a real deep toke, lashes fluttering then closing while his breath hitched with stuttered inhales. By the time Tommy blinked his eyes open he was smiling just slightly, blowing out a long slow breath. "This stuff is the shit..." His head fell back on the sofa and he passed the joint back. Yeah. Lazy day. Awesome.

The beer was gone, the pot was gone and it was nearly midnight when Brian stirred; they were only lit by the flicker of the TV. "Seriously, a-hole, where'd you get the money?"

"Some guy paid me to be his fucking tweener." Tommy answered lazily, eyes heavy-lidded, turning his head to look at the TV. It was that gossip entertainment show. God damned celebrities and their really fucking difficult lives. "Wasn't entirely a bad gig." Liar. It was good. Too good.

"Fuck," Brian snorted, gesturing to the TV lazily. "It's that gay dude. Fucker wears more make-up than my granny does and my fuckin' granny wears a shitload of make up dude." Adam Lambert was on a red carpet somewhere, standing next to a smaller, smiling man. "What a faggot."

Well, shit. Talk about a fucking buzzkill. Tommy stared at Adam on the TV. Dude didn't waste time, did he? Guy he was with was, well, pretty and the fucking clothes looked familiar. Tommy scowled and then something roiled in his gut and he didn't understand what that shit was all about. "He looks better without all the gunk he puts on." He poked Brian. "Don't call him faggot, faggot." Tommy frowned deeper and much as he shouldn't care and look away, he didn't.

"Oh, don't even tell me you got a crush on the faggoty singer dude?! What the fuck, dude. You've taken it up the ass too many times." Brian slouched lower in his sofa. There was some kind of interview, quick, and the singer guy smiled a lot. Fuck if Brian had a clue what he was talking about; he was drunk and high. "What the fuck, dude."

"Fuck you!" Tommy pushed off of Brian and sat up, shifting to the front of the sofa resting his arms on his knees. He couldn't much make out what Adam was saying but he could hear his voice. "That fucker paid for the beer and the weed asshole. Shut the fuck up." Tommy started feeling for the remote. Time to shut this fucking TV off because he didn't want to remember.

"No way. NO FUCKING WAY, dude! You fucked that?! Aw, shit, son." Brian was braying out his laughter. "That's fucked up, dude. You had a star fuck. How fucked up is that?! Shit. Shit. You loser fucker. Was he a kinky fucker? Did he want you to worship his dick?!"

The worshipping kinda felt like the other way around, actually, but Tommy didn't say that. "It was a fuck, Bri, that's it. Just another fuck." His scowl deepened. "Just cos he's famous and shit didn't mean it'd be, I dunno, out of this world or something." Tommy shrugged, feigning boredom when really, he just didn't want to talk about Adam.

"Can't believe you fucked Superstar Gay Dude. That's nuts, man. Seriously nuts." A half-eaten bag of chips was pulled from the depths of the couch and rummaged through. "I'm fucking starving, man. We should order pizza or something."

"Yeah... it was nuts." He fell back on the couch just as he found the remote and started flipping channels, pushing Adam fucking Lambert out of his head. "I'll call for the pizza but you're paying." Tommy bit back a grin. This was more like it. Back to normal.

"Fuck you, Starfucker." Yeah, Brian wasn't going to let that shit go any time soon. But he pulled out his wallet to pay for the pizza, anyway.

~~

Things were back to normal. Or ... as normal as it could get in Tommy's life. Tonight though, it wasn't such a good night, you know? He had one or two or twenty beers and a bit of pot still in his system and he was feeling pretty pleasantly numb. It was how he wanted it. Got a guy tonight who was one big ass motherfucker that kinda got a bit rough. Nothing new, really but tonight he wasn't exactly in the mood to remember that shit. Not that he liked remembering any of the shit he did.

The thing with alcohol and drugs though is that it kind of brings out some of the other crap he didn't want to think about. Like Adam. God damned Adam again. Didn't help that he saw him on TV over at Brian's and 'Starfucker' seems to be the only thing he called Tommy now. God damned fucking Brian.

Fuck. Tommy's head was spinning. Shit.

He had no clue when he picked up the phone or dialed the number on that envelope that was from Adam but there he was, sprawled in his bed and waiting for someone to answer the line.

"...hello?" The woman who answered the phone sounded like she'd been woken up. "Who is this?"

"Hey. Is Adam there?" Tommy's voice sounded so far away. Whoa. That was a trip. "This is Tommy. Tell him it's Tommy."

"What? ... do you have any idea what time it is? Who are you? I don't know any Tommy. You have five seconds and I'm hanging up."

Tommy pulled the receiver from his face and glared at it. "Where's Adam? Are you his secretary or assistant or some shit? You gave me this envelope with a number a couple weeks ago." The fuck? She should remember.

"What?" There was a pause, then, "... oh. Oh my God, I've got hookers calling me at three AM. This is my life." The assistant, whose name, unbeknownst to Tommy, was Amanda, cleared her throat. "I don't live with him. I'll ... tell him you called." Then there was a click and the buzz of a dial tone.

"Hey! Hey!" Tommy glared at the phone again and then put it back up his ear. "_Hey!_" The line was dead. "Fucking bitch!" Tommy shut the phone off and looked up at the ceiling and it was spinning. Shit! "Why the fuck am I calling that fucker?" Adam needed to leave his head.

~~

Tommy woke up with the sound of loud music playing from the neighbors. He groaned and curled up over the covers on his bed. He felt his phone right by his hand and he forced his eyes open, blinking rapidly, hearing the faint beep of the cell phone. He picked it up and flipped it, the display showing a text from Brian. _STARFUCKER GET UP!_ Damn Brian.

He canceled the display and checked his calls in case he missed anything else, scrolling down and seeing an unfamiliar number. Tommy narrowed his eyes and tried to remember who it was he called, pressing send anyway and putting the phone to his ear.

"This is Amanda."

"Amanda?" Tommy didn't know any Amanda but the name was somehow familiar. "This is Tommy. Why are you in my phone?"

It's you again. Listen. I'm not sure why Adam gave you _my_ number, out of all the numbers in the world he could have given you? But you really need to stop calling me. I'm seriously going to block you."

"Adam?" Oh, fuck! The envelope. Amanda. Suddenly it made sense. Shit. Now what would he do? Tommy lay on his back and blew out a breath, running a hand through his hair and fisting it. "Is Adam there?" Might as well, right?

"Once again, I tell you that I don't _live_ with my client. So ... no. I guess. If you need a firm answer. He's not here. Just ... quit calling me. If it happens to come up that you called me? I'll tell him. Otherwise ... I'm hanging up now. Lose my number. Seriously." And again, Tommy heard the buzz of a dial tone in his ear.

He was too hung over to care. Tommy finally got it. Adam gave him this Amanda's number to get rid of him. "Fuck you, Adam!" He groaned at the sound of his own voice that seemed to still ring in his ear. But then he pushed send one more time. Chick better damn answer.

"OhmyGod,youhavefiveseconds. Make it good."

"Tell him he can have his god damned money back. And his stupid credit card and his fucking phone card too." He said gruffly to the receiver. "I don't fucking want it. I'm no god damned charity case, okay? I don't need his fucking money!" Fuck his head was pounding now.

"... okay. Good to know. I'm hanging up now," Amanda told him. "And you're not going to call me any more. Agreed?"

"Look. _He_ gave me your number. You should tell _him_ not to give it out." The fucker. "I'm not gonna call you anymore. Just--" At this Tommy's voice grew lower and he sighed, closing his eyes and placing his arm over it. "Tell him to leave me alone."

"It sounds like he has been." And Amanda hung up on him for a third time.

Tommy heard the click from the other end of the line and he just lay there unmoving. _...he has been..._ She was right. Adam has left him alone and there he was calling the number on the already tattered envelope because he kept holding it and looking at it, the number he can now recall by rote if he weren't either drunk or hung-over.

"Fuck you! Fuck you! _FUCK YOU!_" Tommy yelled to the ceiling, wincing at the loud sound of his voice and putting his head in his hands. This was all Adam's fault. For picking him up. For letting him stay those few nights. For being fucking _nice_.

"...fuck you..." His voice sounded so small now, his chest tight that the ache was physical. Tommy curled into himself, burying his face on the clean but well worn sheets and closed his eyes.

~~

When he woke again, it was already getting dark outside. There was also a voicemail on his phone, the number, when shown, simply showing "unidentified." When Tommy managed to pull himself up to listen to it, sure enough, there was Adam's voice on his phone. _It seems you were upset? And Amanda was upset. I'm sorry if that's the case ... I just ... wanted to make sure you were okay. So, um ... well, anyway. I hope you're okay._ And the message ended and his phone messaging system asked him if he wanted to listen to the message again, save it or delete it.

Tommy flipped the phone shut with a snap and all the bleariness from being just woken up was still there, lingering. He wasn't entirely sure that he heard right. That _was_ Adam on the phone, right? He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and gingerly he sat up, looking at the clock and seeing it was still early, at least for him. Tommy had time to shower and get a meal before he had to walk down to the corner and peddle his wares.

He had listened to Adam's message again, had stared at the screen where it showed he had a missed call, and now, on the way to his corner, he did it again, he listened to Adam's voice. Would he call again? This Tommy thought about and then he frowned and shoved the phone deep in his pocket. "...leave me alone..." Which he more meant, 'get out of my fucking head.'

~~

So passed a week, two weeks, three, then a month. In some ways, it was surprising that the time passed as quickly as it did. In other ways, it more seemed like every day was _really fucking long_.

Things were back where they were supposed to be, to how it should always be. Tommy did his thing. Working. Hanging out with Brian and his friends. Even going out a few nights to some rave where the drinks and pot and ecstasy flowed freely. This was his life. This? This was familiar.

There was one not too noticeable difference that was privy only to Tommy. He would fucking cut a fucker if anyone found out but... anyway. So. He'd been following Adam, all right? So what? Got magazines where he'd been interviewed, bought that shit record of his (and listening to 'Come Home' on a god damned fucking loop), watched him on TV. He'd indulged, sure, but only because he told himself that it was only because he could say that even one short time he'd known Adam. 'Starfucker,' remember? That's all it was. Some story to tell later on in his life. Nothing wrong with that, right?

Tonight was like any other night. Tommy was in a fucking good mood. The LA weather was awesome, the night still young and he headed toward his fucking corner with just this slight spring in his step. Maybe the universe was telling Tommy something because he could feel it. Yeah, tonight was going to be a good night, he could tell.

It would be a momentous one, if nothing else. It was a Tuesday night, even, nothing special. But here came that fucking black Mustang, and it rumbled to a stop in front of Tommy, the window coming down slowly.

Tommy swore his heart stopped and his breath got caught in his throat. His heart was beating wildly in his chest and it took a few beats before he slowly bent over, peering through the open window, his face completely void of expression. He was really good at that, you see.

So was Adam, he found, who looked back over at him, expression mild. "Are you busy?"

"Depends," Tommy met Adam's eyes. "How busy do you want me to be?" His voice didn't falter but it belies just how fucking distraught he felt at this meeting. "How busy can you afford." Tommy knew the answer to that but saying it made this what it was. Business.

Unlike the other encounters, Adam said. "Two hours." Not all night, not days. Two hours. Though, Tommy couldn't help but notice how tight his hand was on the steering wheel, though his expression belied nothing.

Maybe the surprise quickly flashed in his eyes but with a blink it was gone again. Tommy, without another word, nodded and placed his hand on the handle to open the door and got in. He could smell the familiar scent of leather and Adam's cologne and it quickly overwhelmed him, like he jumped in the deep end and found himself underwater, unable to breathe. "Two hours. Five hundred." Adam always did say he undervalued himself but not anymore.

He got a nod, the window went up and Adam took off. For two hours, there was no point, it seemed, in going back to the hills, so instead, Adam asked, "you know the hotels around here?" Was his voice tight? It sounded a little strained.

Tommy could feel his chest hitch and struggle for air, his stomach flip-flopping but he kept his eyes on the road. "Two blocks to the next light, turn right and it's on the right side." It was one of the few that did short-term rates, porn channels free, with a minimum of 4 hours where Tommy could stay long after Adam left. It was seedy, at best.

But wasn't that what this was about? The Mustang pulled into the parking lot of the Shangri-La and up to the office. Adam pushed five hundred dollars in fifties into Tommy's hand. "If you could get the room, that'd be better." Of course, Tommy could also run off with the money, too; it seemed Adam knew that. Why wasn't he _looking_ at Tommy?

It wasn't as if Tommy was looking back. Oh, he looked but past Adam. He wasn't going to run. He may be a whore but he wasn't a cheat or a thief. Fisting the cash in his hand, Tommy got out of the car with nary a word and headed to the office viewable from outside with its large glass window and door. He knew the guy behind the counter and as he left with the key, Tommy gave the old man a smile. This was his turf. His life.

Gesturing to the car, to Adam, he walked down past many doors and slipped the key, opened it and walked in. He knew Adam would follow.

He could hear the car shut off, the door shut, the alarm beep, then Adam appeared in the doorway of the room, shadowed by the streetlights. He stepped in further and shut the door. "This ... is ... really something," he said, nose wrinkling. But then he looked to Tommy as he shrugged off his jacket. No talking this time; nothing like that.

Once Adam was in the room, Tommy was already well on his way to shrugging his jacket off. He was thinking the same thing. This? This was like any other trick. He approached Adam and was looking at his chest, not his eyes. Fuck no. He knew, if he looked in them, that he'd drown. Best not to take a chance. "Want me to?" Tommy's hand reached for Adam's belt; they were ever so slightly shaking.

A hand, manicured, immaculately polished, warm, still, covered Tommy's and Adam's other hand urged Tommy's chin up. "Kiss me, first," he said. His hands weren't shaking, though his voice still seemed strange.

With Adam's hand on his chin, tilting it up, it was next to impossible for Tommy to not look in Adam's eyes. There they were, bright and blue and intense and to avoid it he flicked his gaze down toward Adam's lips, and immediately he knew to look for that prominent freckle there. He licked his own, his heart hammering and _fuck_, he hoped that Adam wouldn't feel that. Tommy steeled himself and then he nodded once, tipping himself up on his toes and touching their lips together.

Adam's hand slid to cup his jaw as he deepened the kiss. It tasted the same as it had and there might've been a moan that was lost in the kiss, there, too as Adam pulled him closer, other arm tight around Tommy's waist.

Tommy's hands were flat on Adam's chest, keeping a distance even as he parted his lips and let out a soft sigh when he felt the kiss deepen. But even then he started to kiss _back_, gasping because he was stifling a moan, his eyes shutting tight as he tilted his head to the side, tongue slightly hesitant as he slowly slipped it between Adam's lips. It did feel the same, taste the same, and what else was similar was when Tommy felt the overwhelming need for _more_.

A minute more of that, then Adam was moving them to the bed, pushing Tommy down on the stained and threadbare bedspread, urging his legs apart to lie between them, and he was still kissing, a hand still cupping Tommy's head, the other on his hip, urging his leg up. Adam's eyes slipped shut, head angled to deepen the kiss just right.

There was resistance but then there was also the need for more. It was waging a war inside Tommy but the flood of memories of what Adam did to him, how he did what he did was flitting in his mind while his body craved it. He arched toward Adam, wanting pressure, heat, hands moving over him, tugging at his shirt, fingers brushing skin; there were too many clothes in the way and Tommy whimpered, wanting them off.

And they came off with an almost practiced ease. Adam tossed his clothes over a chair, Tommy's seemed to slide to the floor. Then they were touching again, hands moving over warm skin, kisses pressed along Tommy's neck, the jut of his collarbone. It almost seemed like he was losing himself in Tommy, eyes heavy-lidded when he sought out his mouth again.

Fuck. Tommy was too weak-willed to resist this especially when he frequently caught himself thinking about this -- Adam -- for the past, too long weeks. No one had ever made him feel like this before. A fuck was a fuck but apparently not with Adam. His chest heaving, eyes heavy-lidded fluttering closed when Adam's mouth was upon. The silence in the room was broken by the sound of heavy breathing, the rustling of the sheets, their lips moving while they shared another deep kiss, Tommy's hands roaming over Adam's warm skin, slow and knowing, surprisingly still familiar.

"I -- " Adam started, then stopped himself, as if he remembered something, a rule or something. He even shook his head, cupping Tommy's face again as they kissed. Then he pulled the smaller man with him as he rolled to his back. "I want you on top of me. On me," he husked out, hands bracketing Tommy's hips.

Tommy had to remind himself that this was why they were here. Nothing else. He met Adam's eyes, then nodded, dipping his head to kiss down Adam's chest, lower, taking some time to flick a nipple with the tip of his tongue. Much as he wanted to not think about it, it entered his mind. This may be the last time he'd be with Adam and he was going to, for his own sake, take his time.

Lower, lower, Tommy licked and nipped at Adam's warm and freckled skin, then he curled a hand around his hard length, licking the wet tip, biting back a moan at Adam's taste. The condoms in his jean pocket he had earlier thrown on the bed when they stripped, pawing for it blindly while he took Adam deeper in his mouth, his hand around it stroking.

'Oh." Adam's back arched off the bed, fingers carding through Tommy's hair. After another breath, he cants his chin to his chest, hands now pushing Tommy's hair back so he could see. "Oh, fuck." His voice, never low, was a rasp in his throat.

He worked Adam with his mouth, sucking, slow, tongue under the shaft with each upstroke, lips clamped tight, pulling up with increased suction. Tommy knew how to use his mouth and he could tell from Adam's reaction that he did it well. He stopped with his lips closed firmly around the head, flicking his eyes up to look at Adam, and with their gazes locked he slowly sank back down, feeling Adam's cockhead hit the back of his throat, Tommy struggling not to choke, working to take Adam even deeper.

"Beautiful," Adam whispered, a heel digging into the bed to push up into the hot, wet. His fingers tightened around Tommy's head, guiding him more, keeping him close, thrusting up, fucking into his mouth. "That feels ... so good."

A soft gagging noise and Tommy had to prop himself on his hands over Adam, pausing the way he stroked his lips down that long hard cock and letting Adam thrust in, quick and deep. His eyes watered, his breathing straggling but still Tommy didn't let any of that stop him from staring at Adam's face, watching the pleasure there while Adam fucked his mouth.

It only lasted for a little while before Adam let him go, fingers gentling as he pushed Tommy back, so gently. "On me. Please." His face was flushed, cheeks pink.

"'kay," Tommy whispered, voice ragged and then he pulled off, crawling over Adam's legs. Tommy straddled his thighs, not looking at Adam, his attention full on the condom packet he bit open with his teeth. A pinch to the tip and then Tommy was rolling the lubed condom on, shifting over Adam on his knees pressed to the man's sides. It was then he looked up, body hovering over Adam with one hand already curled around that hard cock, the tip nudging at his entrance. Tommy didn't let his eyes waver as he sank down, feeling himself stretched open, gasping when he felt himself take Adam in.

"Oh my - _fuck_," Adam tightened his hold on Tommy's hips, heels digging into the bed to push up into that even tighter heat. "Oh, God, I - " Again, he cut himself off, eyes heavy-lidded and dark as he held Tommy in place, pushing up into him, slowly, sweetly. Almost lazily. Almost, but not quite.

By the time he felt Adam's hips against his ass, Tommy's legs were already shaking, his whole body trembling in pleasure. Adam felt good inside him -- like nothing else he'd felt in a really, really long time. "Oh!" Tommy gasped, his mouth parted as he took in deep shivering breaths, placing his hands on Adam's chest for leverage he used to pull back up. "Oh, fuck! Fuck! So goo--!" He didn't finish, instead shutting his eyes tight.

Hands cradling his face, Adam raised his knees and pulled Tommy down at the same time, letting him still move as he kissed him again. There was something frantic about it, something ... it was almost like Adam _needed_ this. Tommy. Needed whatever it was that only Tommy could give him.

If Tommy knew what Adam was feeling, he'd say he felt the same thing. There was something clearly primal in the way he felt about Adam and not just like this... He kissed back with equal fervor, desperate, passionate, while he moved his hips and met Adam's upward thrusts by slamming down, skin slapping on skin, Tommy moaning into Adam's mouth.

The cheap bed creaked, the headboard banged against the wall. There was nothing delicate about what they were doing. Even when Adam wrapped his hand around Tommy's cock, it was tight, no motion wasted. But he wasn't coming along. He was bringing Tommy with him.

"Fuck! Adam!" Tommy cried out his name, something he'd not done before, gasping sharply when he felt Adam's hand around his cock. He began to rock his hips even more frantically, thrusting in that hand while he pounded down, Adam's cock sinking faster, deeper inside him and the pleasure fucking took him over. He was coming and he could feel it overwhelm him, trembling and moving erratically, moaning out Adam's name even though Adam was only a thrust or two behind him.

Even as he was still panting, Adam pulled Tommy back down, more kisses. Gentler this time, with room to breathe. His hands moved to skate down Tommy's back, feeling the bone and muscle there. Then he whispered, "I couldn't stay away," and immediately seemed to regret it, kissing Tommy hard enough that he couldn't respond, even if he wanted to.

Tommy struggled a bit, held tight by Adam, kissed deeply that he felt himself melt against him, yielding. Adam's words made his already rapidly beating heart thump even harder in his chest, his pleasure-hazed mind trying to make sense of what Adam just said. But no. No. Adam couldn't. He _shouldn't_. Something like hope sprang in Tommy's chest but he tamped it down in his mind even if his body returned the kiss, his mouth moving desperately over Adam's, his body pushing down on him, heat and sweat and come trapped between them.

When he was too breathless to go on, Adam let Tommy go, eyes moving away from his face, clearly embarrassed by what had taken place. "I ... hope the showers are cleaner than the rooms are," he said quietly, looking toward the bathroom.

"Don't count on it." And just like that they were back to business with Tommy averting his gaze, too, lifting up and hissing a breath when he felt Adam slip out of him. He fell on the other side of the bed and it creaked, the springs poking his back as Tommy let out a slow breath, a hand on the cooling come on his belly and his eyes on the ceiling. He had a feeling it was going to be a long two hours.

He didn't watch Adam get up, or walk over to the bathroom, but he did hear him say, "... shower with me." And when he looked over, Adam held out his hand, naked, though, his shoulders back.

Looking at Adam was almost painful, he was so beautiful. Tommy pressed his lips together to bite back some cocky retort because in his satedness it was really hard to keep a mask on to hide the sudden yearning to want to be close to Adam. He gave in and stood up, hand hesitating to take Adam's but he slipped his hand in his anyway. Tommy padded after Adam, in the dingy, musty bathroom, shivering at the cold linoleum under his feet. He turned the taps on, testing the water, keeping silent like he would anyone else.

Arms wrapped around him from behind and Adam guided him into the shower, his own taller frame blocking most of the surprisingly strong spray. For a moment, he seemed to just _look_ at Tommy, but then those hands were on his face again and tilting it up to kiss him.

Tommy had his brows furrowed and there was a downturn to his lips when he felt Adam behind him, so close, pressed to his back while the water cascaded down both their bodies. This was his job, right? Do whatever Adam wanted. It was what he was being paid for. He kept that in the forefront of his mind but at the same time decidedly, he wanted to savor this time. Get what he wanted, what he craved that only Adam could give. He pressed back, closing his eyes as he tilted his head toward Adam and then Tommy sighed into the kiss, his lips pliant, his body giving in.

When he pulled away, Tommy could _swear_ that it looked like Adam wanted to say something. What, he had no fucking clue, but something was going on there. Instead, Adam reached for the soap and washed Tommy first, then himself before the water went cold and he turned it off, reaching for a towel for Tommy, then for himself. "Are you hungry?" He finally asked as they were dressing again.

He wondered what it was in Adam's eyes that he kept seeing flit past quickly before disappearing. This made Tommy look even more closely at Adam, his eyes now and again finding him in the low-lit room. He shook his head. "Not hungry." He pulled his pants on then sat on the edge of the bed. Guess this was over, huh? Guess this wasn't the longest two hours like he thought it was going to be. Tommy should be glad to be rid of Adam right? So, why the fuck wasn't he?

And for that matter, why wasn't Adam running out the door? Even though their two hours was nearly up. But when Adam was dressed, he sat, barely, on the edge of the chair next to the particleboard table. "... Amanda told me you told her to tell me to leave you alone."

Tommy frowned and looked away. "Tell her I'm sorry I called," he murmured. "I was high ...or drunk ...or both." It wasn't exactly the answer to the question because after what they just did? It was the furthest thing in Tommy's mind. What the fuck was this? Why was it so hard to turn his back on this shit? To forget? Everything he'd worked so hard to keep inside this whole month was just shot -- gone -- back to the way he was.

"I already apologized." Then Adam looked over at him, eyes dark, brows drawn together in concern and perhaps suspicion. "Do you get high and drunk a lot?" It wasn't like it should matter to him, but it sure seemed to.

A quick peek at Adam and then Tommy looked away again, shrugging a shoulder slowly, frowning. "Sometimes," his voice still had that ragged edge to it but it was low, whispered. "You're a rock star. Don't tell me you don't get high?" He could still remember the smell of pot in the car that very first time Adam picked him up.

"Not where I don't remember who I'm calling, no." There was a barely-there flicker of a smile on Adam's face as he stood up. "My time is up. Do you want me to take you anywhere?"

"Fine. I was _that_ wasted. It's not a crime." Tommy looked over at Adam and then the corners of his lips lifted up ever so slightly, too. It was short-lived, quickly disappearing when he, too, realized that their time was up. "I can walk." The three words held a slight edge to it and only because Tommy was feeling so torn. There was no denying he wanted more time with Adam and at the same time he knew that nothing would come of this -- this -- whatever the fuck it was he was feeling.

"Okay." Adam lingered at the door, hand on the knob. He turned, just a little, watching Tommy out of the corner of his eye. "I'll ... Take care of yourself, Tommy." Then he slipped outside, closing the door quietly behind himself.

Right as the door clicked shut, Tommy felt everything else close in on him. His chest felt tight and he couldn't breathe and he crawled slowly to the middle of the creaky bed, curling to his side and then he blew out breath after strangled breath. He felt sick to his stomach, a myriad emotions jumbled up inside him and none he could really place. What the fuck was going on? Why was this happening to him? Too many questions that he didn't know the answers to.

It was a moment, though, before he heard the engine of the Mustang roar to life. And another minute before he heard the transmission shift and the car start to pull away. Just more questions without any answers.

~~

The first time Adam saw the boy - the hooker - he was in his car and he was in Burbank because, well, he wasn't lost, but he was a little out of place from where he needed to be. It wasn't like Burbank was that great, anyway, but this part of it was _really_ bad. But it was the hair first, that stark black against the bleached blond. Adam had stared. He'd nearly driven into the other lane, to stare, too. The frame was so small, too, just Adam's type.

With a sharp shake of his head, he'd forced his eyes back on the road and found his way back to where he was supposed to be.

Somehow, though, he found his way back to that shitty part of Burbank and each time he did, he saw the boy.

It was stupid.

He was Adam Lambert. His first two albums had gone gold. He had a world-wide tour under his belt, he had a house in the hills, he had money, he had his life. He could get a _date_.

Nevertheless, somehow, he found himself, under a baseball cap pulled low and sunglasses, watching the boy from across the street as he drank surprisingly good coffee. He watched the way the boy moved, the angles of his body, of how he hunched over with his hands in his pockets, almost as if he wanted not to be noticed.

When he finally left, two hours later, Adam felt dirty. And wanting.

~~

When he'd finally stopped in front of the boy, he couldn't help being startled at how, close up, the boy was even more attractive, his features alternately delicate and hardened all at once. And his name was Tommy. And when Adam took him home, he didn't want him to leave. So it was a relief when he'd had to get on the plane; it kept him from being any more foolish than he already was. And yet, whenever he closed his eyes, he could see the way Tommy spread out under him. He got hard in a heartbeat. He wanted.

He could see the publicity nightmare already: _Adam Lambert wines and dines whore!_

That would even harder to write off than the incident in Beijing. Really, he should've been warned about real sake, not the American watered down version.

And yet, when he got back from New York, he'd done what he needed to do and then he'd gone to find Tommy almost like an addict needing a fix. Of course, then he'd fucked up. He just wanted to give Tommy good things and nothing said good things like shopping.

Tommy had looked _amazing_ in the clothes. He had a body for designer wear. He looked like he should be dressed to be undressed and fucked until he flushed that pink to his skin that came when he gasped for breath, deepening when he came.

How did Adam not think that Tommy would freak out? Resent Adam for being a condescending fool? At the same time, Adam felt like he had given Tommy amazing clothes and he was ungrateful.

He'd watched the boy walk away and he watched for an hour more, waiting to see if he'd come back.

He didn't.

So, Adam had stayed away. He'd kept to himself as long as he could.

Amanda had not been very understanding. But then, when your superstar client asks you to drop off a package to a hooker, Adam guessed he could see why she was a bit put out.

Then Amanda got even more angry at him, telling him tightly about the calls.

It was becoming more clear that he shouldn't have done that. And yet at the same time, he'd been terrified that something had happened to Tommy. He had to find out. He felt compelled, driven.

He went. It took all his effort to keep from pulling the boy into the car and driving away with him.

Two hours.

Leaving was the hardest thing he'd done in a long time. The motel was terrible. Awful. But he wanted to go back.

He didn't leave his house if he didn't have to for two more weeks. If he did, he hired a service, because he knew where he'd go if he drove.

Adam thought of Tommy all the time, dreamt that he could taste his skin, that he could feel his touch, taste his lips.

His friends called all the time, wondering where he was, what he was doing, wondering why he wasn't coming out.

It all felt empty. Which was _pathetic_. How pathetic was he. He tried to talk himself out of Tommy, to distract himself. Nothing worked.

Nothing worked.

It was late, past midnight. Adam's wineglass was empty. He was staring into the fire in the fireplace of his study when he realized that it was hopeless. The only way to address this issue was to give in.

There was a chance that Tommy wouldn't be at his corner; that he'd be gone. Or hurt, or lost.

Adam fisted his keys in his hand and headed for the door and the car. He had to find out. He had to. Maybe that was the only way to get over him. To get over Tommy.

~~

It was late. Past midnight. From the back alley, Tommy walked back to his corner smelling like cigarettes and sweat and come, his jaw aching, his knees too. What he got from saying yes to blowing two assholes who only had so much money between them. Fuckers.

At that corner of San Fernando, Tommy leaned against the wall, hoodie pulled over his head, his face in shadows. He watched the cars pass by, waiting, knowing that sometime soon one would slow down and then he'd be back in business.

The roar of the engine gave away the car before Tommy could see it. And then, there it was. Except that this time, Adam didn't roll the window down. He stepped out of the car, looking over the roof at Tommy. And he said, his face drawn and tight. "Come home with me. Please."

The concrete wall was cold against his back, but Tommy didn't move save for lifting his head up, the street light catching his face and bathed it with light. He met Adam's eyes and there were so many things he could say right now. Like 'go the FUCK away,' or 'leave me alone,' or, 'it'll fucking cost you,' and many other cocky and petulant words. Tommy said none of them.

With his hands shoved deep in his pockets, his shoulders hunched over, he sighed, nodding once and walked toward the car, opening the door and getting in. He was tired of fighting.

When he was buckled in, Adam put the car in drive and took off. Both of his hands were tight on the wheel and he looked over occasionally as he drove. But otherwise, the drive was silent.

Once inside his house, though, Adam closed and locked the door. The house around them was silent and Adam was leaning against the door. "I'm glad you're here," he finally said.

Tommy pulled his hands from where they were hidden in the front pocket of what he was wearing, the hood still over his head that his eyes were covered in shadows. He pulled it back and his gaze was cloudy, tumulus, but steady on Adam. So many things were running in his head. Questions he didn't think he wanted to hear the answers to. Things he wanted to throw at Adam like, 'how long?' and 'how much?' Just to stress the fact that he was here and a whore and this wasn't a fucking social call.

But he just stood there, see? His face void of expression or emotion, staring at Adam, not saying a word.

After that moment stretched out long enough to be uncomfortable, Adam finally spoke again. "I want you to stay." And he took a deep breath. "I want you to stay."

At that Tommy cocked his head a little, his brows knitted together, still staring back at Adam. He had no idea what Adam could possibly want from someone like him but being asked to stay here? He stood there and thought about it. Short term? Surely paid? Not too bad. Being with Adam? Well, he had to admit that was better and deep inside he didn't care what the terms were and he was afraid to ask. Maybe that showed on his face as he took the few steps toward Adam. "'kay," Tommy said softly, nodding his head slowly. "If it's what you want then ... okay."

At first, there was no change in Adam's expression, then it was as if a light came on, first in his eyes, then in the smile that bloomed across his face. "... okay." And he took a few steps forward, too and he pulled Tommy into his arms and _hugged_ him, cheek pressed to his.

Tommy's arms were slow to move, to wrap around Adam but once he did he closed his eyes and he let the warmth envelop him. He had no fucking idea what he was getting into here and honestly, he was very much afraid. He turned his head and pressed his face against Adam's shoulder, taking a deep breath and smelling his too familiar scent. He let that ease the thoughts in his mind. At least for now, he'd push it away.

Slowly, he tilted his face up and maybe Adam would see the way his eyes shone, too, in the light. It may be partly troubled, partly worried, but hope was there too. Tommy's gaze dropped to Adam's lips, to the smile there and it was enough to make him smile back, too. "This is a fucked-up idea, you know?"

"Yeah, well. It wouldn't be my first. Or my last." Adam smiled ruefully. He touched his thumb to Tommy's lips before drawing back a step, hand still resting on Tommy's hip. "... shower? You ... your clothes are still in the second bedroom."

Shit. Yeah. That was a good idea and Tommy wrinkled his nose, nodding. "I know my way," he said, stepping away from Adam, too, feeling a bit bereft when that warm hand disappeared from his side. Before he disappeared down the hall though, he looked over his shoulder at Adam, as if expecting him to disappear, you know? But he was still there and Tommy smiled, watching Adam smile back, before he turned to go.

It didn't take long for Tommy to take a shower, wash the scent of other people on him and to brush his teeth with a new toothbrush found in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. He was out and a little bit hesitant at the clothes in the room, remembering how they'd fought over it that ended in him leaving. He chose a pair of jeans, a simple shirt, his hair still a bit damp as it hung over his eyes.

Tommy walked barefoot, his feet silent on the wood floors as he peeked in each room he passed by. It was in the kitchen that he found Adam and he let out a surprised hiss when his feet felt the cold tile on the floor.

Turning, Adam smiled again, taking in the bare feet. "... socks are this amazing invention. C'mere, I made tea. Want some? Are you hungry?" It was so late, but Adam, it seemed, was a night owl.

Walking further in the room, Tommy stopped a few steps away from Adam, cutting him a look but his lips were quirked and clearly, the expression was teasing. "Socks are for pussies. What's a little cold?" He gestured to the tea. "I"m a little hungry but I guess I'll try that out. Can't be drunk all the time, right?" Yes, he remembered all their conversations and that was enough to get Adam to wince, but he handed Tommy a mug of tea that smelled like peppermint.

"Let's sit down." Taking Tommy's hand, Adam pulled him into the study where the fire was just cinders, and onto the big couch where he could fold up his larger frame and tuck it around Tommy's smaller frame as if trying to protect him.

Tommy fidgeted a bit only because, well, no one had really snuggled like this with him before. Brian don't count. That shit was because they were high and too stoned to get up. But this? This was -- _nice_. Tommy rarely got nice. Then he finally settled down, tucked against Adam, and slowly he leaned his head against Adam's shoulder. "I've never had a fireplace before," he said, pointing to the dying embers past the metal grate.

"It's nice. It's not like it's cold enough a lot of times to use it, but when it is, it's nice," Adam answered, his voice a warm burr against Tommy's ear. "I meant it, you know. That I ... I want you to stay. Like ... stay."

"You can't mean that." Tommy was shaking his head as he cut a look at Adam, putting a hand to Adam's chest and pushing slightly away. "If you do, you're fucking crazy. Do you even know what you're saying?" He scoffed then did nothing else but slowly shake his head. "Me....? Stay...? That'll be a mistake." Adam and the media storm that seemed to follow him everywhere would have a fucking field day looking Tommy up.

Even in the dim light of the fireplace and the one lamp, Tommy could see Adam's cheeks flush. Maybe. Or maybe it was just the light. Either way, he got up and went over to the fireplace, crouching down in front of it and looking into the embers before he looked back over at Tommy. "I need to tell you something and I need you to listen to me, okay? If you want to leave after I tell you, that's ... fine. I can't do anything about that, but I want you to know. Okay?"

The tone on Adam's voice and the look on his face made Tommy feel a bit concerned. He stared at Adam and slowly he was nodding his head. "'kay. Tell me."

"This is going to sound _really_ strange," Adam said, "but hear me out." He looked into the fire. "I saw you... _months_ ago. I was not where I was supposed to be and I saw you and ... anyway, I went back, so I could see you again. I even got coffee at that coffee shop across the street and I watched you. This was all before I brought you here that first time. Then I finally did and ... it was ... maybe just for me, anyway, intense?" He glanced over toward Tommy, gaze skating over before skittering away. "And I came back to you. You freaked out and I was mad about the clothes and stuff, so I said 'okay, enough.' But I thought about you _all the time_. I was worried about you, I ... worried. About you. But I was going to stay away, because of what Amanda said you said.

"But I couldn't. So that's why you're here tonight. I couldn't stay away. And I know we know, really, jack shit about each other, but that doesn't make what I feel untrue." It almost seemed like Adam folded in on himself as he looked at the fire. "So I want you to stay. I know what you are - were. But I want you to stay. So we can _see_. Just so we can see."

By the time Adam was done talking, Tommy had already pulled his knees to his chest, his ankles crossed, arms draped across his knees. He chewed on the inside of his lips, his eyes narrowed, worried, staring back at Adam. "That's a lot of shit to drop on someone, you know?" His voice held no malice, no anger; just stating fact.

The room went quiet for a while, a crackling sound from within the fireplace was now and again cutting through silence.

A short moment later Tommy unfurled himself from the couch and he padded toward Adam, crossing his legs as he sat down in front of him. He wasn't sure what to tell Adam, really. Even he hadn't come to terms with whatever it was he was feeling. But he sure as fuck was feeling _something_.

Tommy opened his mouth and his breath hitched; he closed his eyes and took in some air, feeling lightheaded and dizzy, his mind reeling before he blinked his eyes open to meet Adam's gaze. "It's not gonna work, you know." His voice was held in a whisper, soft as it carried over in the air.

"Maybe it won't. But I guess I'd rather find out than always wonder." Reaching out, Adam carded through Tommy's long bangs, tucking them behind his ear. "Wouldn't you rather know?"

The touch made Tommy's eyes blink slowly, lashes fanning down and then fluttering closed for a beat as he struggled to get his thoughts and his emotions together. "We're so -- different. " And he was afraid. That was the bottom line. This was unfamiliar territory. Adam had been the only one in a very, very long time that had Tommy feeling things when he touched him, when he kissed him, whenever he's around there was _something_ that seemed to stir his soul. "I don't know. It's a fantasy. It's fucking Pretty Woman." He frowned but still, Tommy slowly leaned into Adam's touch.

"It kinda is, I get that. But ... " Adam shook his head, looking back at the fire for a moment, his hand skating down Tommy's arm. "It's so weird being famous. It's ... there are people everywhere, but it's lonely. And so when I find someone who I ... who I feel a connection with?" That got him looking at Tommy again. "I want to find out. It may hurt like hell or be stupid and foolish, but I want to know."

Everything inside him was warring, confused, torn while Tommy tried to weigh things in his mind. And he was right to think that Adam was lonely. Lonely enough to find a fucking cheap ass fucker like him, follow him, watch him, and everything else that Adam did to be with him. Then there was the way Adam treated him ... like he was fucking spun gold and not an ass for hire. Tommy's heart did a loud _thump thump_ and he looked up at Adam, slowly scooting a little bit closer. "They'll tear you apart if they find out about me..." he said quietly.

"They don't have to know anything about you that you don't want them to know. It doesn't matter to me, don't you see?" Adam caught Tommy's chin with his fingers, turning it so that he had no choice but to look at Adam. "I just know what I feel. That's all. If you don't want to stay, I understand that. But don't not stay because of something like _that_."

Adam's fingers on his chin was very distinct and even with the light touch, Tommy could sense the heat of it on his skin. He met Adam's eyes, the worry and concern showing in his. "What if it matters to me? Not about me," Tommy shook his head, "but what everyone would think ...about you." He didn't want what he was - were - to hurt Adam's career, and most especially, Tommy didn't want it to affect Adam personally. He still did not say if he would stay... he couldn't answer it yet because to Tommy, this was bigger than him. He was a fucking ass for hire, you know? How much lower could he go? But Adam? Adam could lose so much because of him.

The smile he got in return was rueful, a little sad and Adam shrugged. "Right from the start of my career, people have been able to find stuff to hate about me if they wanted to. So ... if they find out about ... whatever, and they want to come after me? Tommy ... " He leaned closer. "Right now, I don't even care. Right now, I just ... I want to kiss you."

He bit his bottom lip and flicked his gaze between Adam's eyes and his lips and back again. A warm breath pushed its way out and slowly Tommy nodded his head. He'd read all that shit that had gone down with Adam and it was part of why he'd found he liked Adam more, too. The way he handled himself under pressure and scrutiny was quite admirable. So, yeah, maybe he could handle this, too.

It was Tommy, then, who pushed himself up so that he could touch his lips with Adam's. His hand running down the back of Adam's head to hold him there, practically ending up on the man's lap while he wrapped his other arm around his shoulders. He whimpered into the kiss, pushing it deeper, aching for more of Adam since he saw him get out of the car right there at his corner on San Fernando road.

Arms came around his waist and Adam held him close, hands spanning his back. Tommy did end up in Adam's lap, straddling his hips and the kisses softened, took their time and stretched out like taffy that was meant to be savored and not wolfed down in one sitting. Aside from the hands that slipped under Tommy's shirt to touch warm, bare skin, there was no move to undress him further.

He was pressed to Adam's chest now, Tommy's arms tight around his shoulders, pulling back with reluctance, panting. The touch to his body, Adam's fingers running over his bare chest and back was driving him crazy, making his back arch, his skin tingle. The air was warm around them, warmer than the heat still emanating from the embers behind the fireplace grate and it made Tommy want more of that warmth. He ducked his head, shaking it but smiling softly.

Yes, Tommy realized, he wanted Adam, too.

Nuzzling Adam's cheek, he closed his eyes, taking in the scent of Adam's cologne and something else spicy right under his skin. "What now?" Tommy breathed, his voice raspy, licking around his lips and still tasting the peppermint from the tea and something he now knew was distinctly Adam.

"Now?" The corners of Adam's eyes crinkled as he smiled. "... It's the first day of the rest of our lives." Which probably coming from anyone else sounded as hokey as shit, but it seemed like Adam _believed_ that. "We can do whatever we want." He held Tommy loosely around the hips. "What do you want to do?"

This was probably the most frightening thing Tommy's ever found himself in. More so than the actual danger he continually put himself in given what he did. But at the same time it was something he'd yearned for for so long. So long. Tommy smiled back then rolled his eyes. "...rest of our lives, huh?" Honestly? That sounded just exactly like what he wanted.

"How about your room?" And that bed. Under those warm covers. Tommy let his hand slide down Adam's arm, finding his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Okay." Gently, Adam urged Tommy to his feet, then stood himself, one-handedly putting the glass back in front of the fireplace so it could peter out and not burn the house down. Then he put his arm around Tommy and walked with him upstairs, closing the bedroom door behind them. "I need to brush my teeth," he said, leaning close again, kissing Tommy gently, almost reverently. "Wait for me?"

Mutely, Tommy nodded his head and then he walked over to the bed, fingers trailed over the soft covers and it made him smile. At the same time, though, as Tommy slowly stripped himself of his clothes, he felt his heart beating fast; he was nervous. And fuck it, that had never happened to him before. But, see, he embraced it, fought back his other thoughts, his doubts and pushed them to the back of his mind. Now was not the time.

Pulling the thick, silk cover down, Tommy slipped in bed, breathing out a long breath, eyes trained at the bathroom door and waiting for Adam to come back.

When Adam came back, he shut off the lights and stripped off his clothes as well before climbing in. He settled on his side and rested his cheek on his hand. "Hi," he said, smiling a little.

Tommy thought that he'd rather like to get used to looking at Adam like this. In bed and naked and beautiful. He smiled back and leaned in, his heartbeat he swore, Adam would be able to hear, it was beating too loud. Then he kissed him, rolling over Adam and pressing down. Tommy would like to get used to this, too -- kissing Adam.

There was a surprised chuckle in there, but Adam's hands slid down Tommy's back, cupping his ass. "God, I missed you," Adam said, cocking his head to deepen the kiss. "I know it's crazy, but I did."

This was it, wasn't it? Tommy had to fess up, too, now, because his life had just taken a dramatic turn for, what he hoped, what he felt, was for the better. "I did, too." Missed Adam, he meant. Tommy swallowed down the fear of opening up like this, of being vulnerable. "I never stopped thinking of you from that first night..." His body moved on its own accord, pressing down on Adam, breath hitching from the feel of warm skin over warm skin.

"Mmm." Adam's fingers dug into the meat of Tommy's ass at the same time as he pushed up. "Careful telling me that," he whispered, his smile easy to feel. "I might get my hopes up." A hand, though, cupped the back of Tommy's neck and kept him right there, seeming to say, without words, that it was _okay_.

Tommy was trying to pull back at Adam's words but that hand prevented him from moving away. His brows drew together and he met Adam's eyes. "It's true. You didn't want to leave my head." Like that was Adam's fault.

Eyebrows up, Adam looked back at him, meeting his gaze. "I'm here now. You're here. Tommy ... it'll be _okay_." As if he could promise that. As if he had that kind of power.

Maybe, somehow, they both didn't want to keep their hopes up just yet. But Tommy believed Adam, trusted him, so he nodded his head and pressed their lips together again. There was still so much more between them, things they needed to know but, Tommy thought, now wasn't the time to think about it. Because here? Being with Adam, kissing him, touching him with his hands sliding down his chest, it felt right. Maybe it _was_ going to be okay. Tommy wrapped his fingers around Adam's length and stroked slowly. "I want ... I-I ... want you," he murmured against Adam's lips.

"Oh, God," Adam moaned, eyes slipping nearly closed. "I want you too." As if Tommy couldn't feel the growing hardness where he was rocking his hips. "Whatever you want." Adam, it seemed, was giving himself over. So much of Tommy's sex life had been at the whim of others. This? This was what _Tommy_ wanted.

Pulling back enough to look into Adam's eyes, Tommy felt the corners of his lips lift up in a smile. No one's ever asked before but Tommy knew he only wanted one thing. "I want you to feel good," he whispered, shifting to kiss a line down Adam's throat, nipping at skin, kissing his shoulder and then dragging his teeth against his collarbone, Tommy's long bangs brushing on Adam's chest as he kissed down slowly.

Adam let his head fall back, eyes shutting, hands continuing to move up and down Tommy's back, light, not urging, just ... touching. Goosebumps formed under his fingers from the teasing touch, growing more pronounced with Adam whispered, "you make me feel so _good_."

Already, Adam was different than anyone Tommy had ever been with. His touch was always electrifying, waking something inside him that he'd never felt before. Passion. Desire. Maybe even love? Tommy kissed over his stomach, feeling the muscles under his lips flex and then he settled between Adam's legs. Adam was so hard now. They both were. Tommy licked a line up the shaft of his erection, his eyes closing, other hand cupping Adam's balls before he sucked on his cock, taking him in deep, Tommy moaning at the taste and feel of Adam in his mouth.

"Tommy, fuck," Adam rasped, hands in his hair again, pushing it out of the way so he could see. "Fuck, your _mouth_." Tommy could see the muscles in his hips flex as he seemed to fight not to push up.

That made Tommy smile a little even around his mouthful. He knew to use his mouth, yeah, but none more satisfying that using it now on Adam and making him feel good. He bobbed his head, slow as he sucked, humming, eyes watching Adam's face and in pleasure he looked even more beautiful. A short moment later, Tommy pulled off, hand stroking Adam's long, hard length, his own cock hard and leakingpre -come from the tip, aching to be touched. "You got rubbers?" He asked, voice gruff, crawling back up Adam's body while placing kisses on Adam's chest.

"Yeah." Reaching over, Adam pulled open the drawer of the nightstand. "In there. Lube, too." And he opened his eyes, head angled to look at Tommy. "You don't even know you're beautiful, do you?" He reached up, then fingers trailing down Tommy's jaw.

He crawled up and over Adam, pausing right above him, smiling with a shy looking smile. When Adam says beautiful, it made goosebumps rise up the back of his neck and he believed it. "I dunno," he shrugged it off, reaching then pawing in the nightstand for condoms and the lube. With those in his hands, Tommy straddle Adam's lap, looking down, tearing open the condom packet. He peeked at Adam from under the shock of black hair on his blond head that was covering part of his face. "_You're_ beautiful, you know?" Tommy slowly rolled the condom down Adam's erection. "Everybody says so ... I say so."

"When you say it, I believe it," Adam told him. His hands, again bracketing Tommy's hips, shook just a little when the condom was rolled on. "It's kind of dumb, but it was your hair, at first, that caught my eye? I love it. It's kind of 80s in a really good way."

Tommy laughed, his smile wide on his face. "Should've seen me during my Billy Idol meets Spike hair days." The lube Tommy took in hand and pushed it toward Adam, looking a bit bashful but asking anyway. "Would you?" Prep him, he meant. God. That? No one else had done for him, to him.

"Yeah." With a smile, Adam flipped open the top, smeared lube over his fingers and pulled Tommy to his chest. That way, all he had to do was reach down and back, urging a finger in slowly. They could kiss this way, and they did, Adam's mouth pressed to Tommy's. It was a weird thing to have feel like love, but that's what it felt like.

His breath hitched and then Tommy was whimpering softly into the kiss, his body trembling from the way Adam was touching him. It seemed odd for him to think that this was an intimate act that he happened to like to share with Adam when he'd done way more things past intimate with a lot of other people. Tommy pushed that thought away and quickly. The past didn't matter. Not right now. He rocked over Adam, feeling his fingers push in, pull out, over and over with Tommy opening up while their kiss deepened, Tommy moaning into Adam's mouth.

It didn't take long, but they took their time. And when Tommy finally lifted up, Adam held his cock at the base and watched as he lowered himself down. Adam groaned, his other hand on Tommy's hip. "... yeah. Like that. Tommy...."

By the time Tommy was sinking down on Adam's hard cock, he was already panting, lips parting on a breath and then he was biting his lower lip to hold a groan that still slipped out. Both hands on Adam's chest, he trembled and hard when he felt the back of his thighs settle over Adam's groin. "You make me ... f-feel good..." Tommy gasped, pushing on his hands and then he was rising and falling slowly, paced, over Adam, eyes on his face.

Adam didn't look away, either. Even when his head fell back and he seemed to give over to the pleasure, he didn't look away. His hands wrapped around Tommy's hips, helping him move, even as he brought his knees up, tilting Tommy forward, toward his mouth again, and more of those kisses.

It was as if his whole body was on fire, heat pouring out of him, each touch, each kiss from Adam magnified and it felt amazing, unlike anything Tommy had felt before. He kissed back, their bodies moving in sync, slow but familiar, perfect. As Tommy dragged his tongue around Adam's lips, he couldn't help thinking that this -- _this_ \-- was what it felt like to make love. This. The realization made his head spin, the pleasure escalating even more that he moaned into Adam's mouth, moving erratically over him, his body shaking.

"It's okay," Adam whispered, rubbing his back, moving with him, heels in the bed to push up to meet Tommy's movements. "It's okay, baby. I've got you. You're gonna come for me, aren't you? Gonna come for me, so I can feel how _good_ it feels when you come. Yeah? God." Tommy could feel the breath hitch in Adam's chest.

"Yeah..." Tommy was nodding his head, pressing his face against Adam's cheek and gasping for each breath. He forced his eyes open, wanting to look at nothing but Adam's face, pushing up enough to hover over him. "I'll stay... Adam... I'll ... stay..." he said, voice quivering, Tommy catching Adam's wrist so that they could both wrap their hands around him, stroking, pulling Tommy's orgasm from his body taut with tension.

"I know," Adam whispered, hand tight, too. "I know you will." He gasped when Tommy's cock spilled over their joined fingers and he pushed his hips up a few more times, only a few seconds behind. "God, Tommy. Fuck, you feel so _good_."

Tommy's smaller frame was shaken, coming right as Adam was thrusting even deeper, harder inside him. He held on to Adam, an arm tight around him, his other, slick, slipping over his cock still spilling. Tommy practically collapsed over Adam, whispering his name by his ear between hitched breaths. "It's never felt this good," Tommy whispered, "not for a very long time," he placed kisses against Adam's skin, smiling with each press of his lips anywhere he could reach. "So good..."

For each kiss he gave to Adam, Adam returned and Tommy could feel his smile, too. Tommy was hugged up tight to his chest and Adam even rocked a little. "It hasn't for me, either," he told him. "Stay with me and it'll only get better, I promise."

It was both frightening and hopeful at the same time but as Tommy looked at Adam's smiling face, he nodded and smiled back; Tommy believed him, and his heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest. It wasn't going to be an easy road, that he was sure, but, he realized now, they had each other.

~~

_Six months later..._

The hotel room in New York City was not a room; it was a fucking _suite_ with robes in the bathroom and mints and the pillow. There was also a huge fruit basket on the table, too. Adam set his bag down, reaching over his head to stretch. "Ugh, I still don't like flying. I get so tired and _sore_."

They were in the city for a series of Christmas concerts and it was fucking _cold_. There was only enough time to have a few things hung up, which the valet was doing at that moment. "You want to go to the Empire State Building after?" After the interview at MTV, he meant. Yeah, Tommy knew Adam's schedule as well as he did.

~~

The time since Adam had brought Tommy home weren't all smooth sailing. When Tommy'd been spotted in Adam's shadow more than twice, the prodding had begun. It was only through super diligence by Amanda of all people that the story was that there was no story. It didn't do much, but it worked enough. Then they were boring enough to not be hounded, just followed as usual. And always, Tommy was tucked up under Adam's arm, almost as if he needed to be protected, though he wore designer clothes.

~~

Tommy watched Adam stretch, a bit of skin peeking from the hem of his shirt and it made him smile He'd get to taste that skin. Later. After Adam had his rest. Tommy was getting quite adept to the routine, to Adam's quirks that he'd since learned to love. You heard right. _Love_. Though neither of them actually had the nerve to say it yet.

"I love flying." Tommy would seeing as he'd never had before all this with Adam. "It's real cool especially during the day and you can see clouds and shit." He dropped his bag, too, falling on his back over the bed in his dark skinny jeans and dark fitting shirt, a gray studded bomber jacket over it. Adam chooses his clothes, see. If it were up to Tommy he'd still be in baggy jeans and a hoodie. "...but I think I love hotel suites more than I love flying." He grinned at the fancy vaulted ceiling.

"Spoiled brat," Adam teased, grinning, as he walked over, kicking at Tommy's foot with his knee. "You've adjusted surprisingly well to being pampered. We have to go in a few minutes."

Tommy smirked, rolling to his side with his legs still dangling to the floor. "If I'm a brat, who's fault do you think that is?" He groaned then got up, stepping closer to Adam and wrapping his arms around him, under the coat Adam wore, tipping his face up, smiling. "Can we go to the very top? Even if it's late, will they let us? Sounds fucking cool being on top of the Empire State Building at night."

~~

Things had not been easy for either of them, The time that the public curiosity about Adam's new 'boy toy' hit the gossip rags, he'd been followed, googled, photographed and videotaped, his history dug up.

But even if Tommy's previous, well, "occupation" didn't make it out for public consumption, it did come up every so often between them. Tommy worried constantly, was afraid all the time that Adam would get tired of him, that it couldn't possibly be serious, and the worst of his thoughts was about Adam not deserving someone like him. Adam deserved better.

They've had talks that were emotional, at best, and for months Tommy would refuse to open up. But once he did it was like a floodgate broke open and all Tommy's fears and doubts were aired out between them.

Every time Adam listened, and he'd pull Tommy close and kiss him and tell him that he was so sorry. But that was the past. This was now, he'd say. And Tommy was there, with him. That was what mattered.

~~

"All the way to the top, huh?" Wrestling Tommy a little, Adam walked them both toward the bathroom, tipping the valet first, then on to freshen up in the few minutes they had left. "I might be able to pull a few strings for that. If you're nice to me."

Tommy tossed his head to rid his eyes of his hair so he could look straight at Adam. "I bet you could convince them. Won't take much." In the bathroom he met Adam's eyes from their reflections in the mirror, watching while Adam prettied himself up. "Everyone knows you like the top. You do that and I'll be extra nice to you." Tommy was nodding his head slowly. "..._extra nice_," he emphasized.

"You're so dirty." The words came out a purr and Adam leaned over, stealing a lingering kiss before he reached for his lip gloss. "Are you saying you'd blow me on top of the Empire State Building? I totally don't want to freeze the Glambulge off."

Tommy laughed. "What difference does make? It's always stiff anyway." He even threw a teasing glance at Adam before looking away, down at the small case of make up and toying with Adam's eyeliner. His voice was softer though it still echoed in the large bathroom. "I'm saying I'd do anything you want. Anywhere." And it didn't just mean sex. _Because I love you_.

There was silence for a second, because Adam was smudging his eyeliner just right, but then he tugged Tommy close again, to his chest so they could look at themselves in the mirror. His cheek rested against Tommy's hair. "I know," he said, quietly, his eyes meeting Tommy's in the mirror. And Tommy could've sworn that what he saw there was something like _I love you, too_.

"Adam?" They heard from the door. It was Amanda's voice, hard to mistake. "It's time to go, okay? Or we're going to be late."

Adam sighed. "Be right out." Then he turned Tommy around. "Ready for New York, baby?"

Tommy's gaze was locked with Adam's and it was hard to look away what with what he saw there. His smile was the kind that slowly bloomed, spreading wide on his face, even to his eyes. "I'm ready, yeah." He slipped his hand in Adam's. "Let's hope New York is ready for us."

With a smile, Adam squeezed his hand and they walked out of the bathroom, out of the hotel room and hotel and into the city.

 

~fin~


End file.
